Racing - it's all fixed.

I was in Chinatown in Cardiff today and happened to walk into the local bookies. Not being funny but how the fuck do you pick winners in these races. Talk about fixed.

Needless to say I did my bollocks. Never again.

Cloning, time travelling and human chameleons

Who knew these things were possible?

Well I knew about Dolly the sheep clone but hadn't realised we were cloning humans until this week. Even more surprising though was who was doing it. Not scientists or governments but Tottenham fuckiing Hotspur. That's right, the poor relations of North London, the great unwashed sexual deviants have taken a jump over the greatest team in the World (Arsenal) and have started cloning their players.

Obviously they haven't cloned any old player. Not even Spuds are stupid enough to take the field with eleven Adebayor's but what damage are they going to wreak when they get eleven of these on the field?

The first picture is the Mercurial Gareth Bale and the second is supposedly called Kenny McEvoy an Academy player. We're all doomed when they get the other eight clones on the pitch.

I always dreamt of time travelling when I was a kid. Who would I go back to meet? Would I travel all the way back to the beginning of time? See the Dinosaurs? And then when I was older it was more about going to the future and more specifically, looking at the next days football results.

Well, someone has managed to do just that and here's the proof.

What you are looking at there is a £250 (I haven't missed out a decimal point) correct score accumulator???

Another description would be that is a picture of £250,000 because that is what that slip is worth.

Who puts such a lumpy bet on a correct score accumulator? The only person I can think of is someone who already knows the results. Well played Mr Time Traveler, any tips for today?

Finally, Human Chameleons. This picture is proof they exist.

Laters.

Snow, more snow and Lance.

Been a quiet few days.

The snow has decimated horse racing and I haven't felt the love for anything else.

Had a nine team Acca busted when Barca decided to lose whilst in mourning for Pep signing for Bayern. Fuck knows what Robben is going to do now he has to pass the ball more than once a half?

Had a couple of singles, Leeds and Sochaux, which triple my £20 starting bet.

Also had the 49 'ers win on Sunday night which was great news for the Superbowl bet. Really wanted the Falcons to beat New England but as always, be careful what you wish for.The Falcons looked really good whilst San Fran struggled. Betfair has seen them hold steady at 1.6 ish which is pretty good news so I've layed a part of my bet off. I've still got the lions share of the winnings on San Fran but I may trade in running if Atlanta look like winning.

Had a cheeky little bet on Treviso against the Ospreys. The bet looked dead and buried until the Italians run in two trys in the last five minutes.

Other than that I haven't been up to much.

Watched Lance Armstrongs interview with Oprah. To be honest I can't see what the fuss is about. Personally I think the guy is a legend. I only ever rode my bike once whilst on drugs and I hit a dog and fell into a canal. Lance won seven Tour De Frances whilst ripped off his tits. Fair fucking play.

Anyhow, looks like Bradford just got to Wembley. Think the entire Villa squad should get drug tested for losing that tie.

Laters.

Horses for courses

Especially when you shop at Tesco's although you would have to be extremely unlucky to pick a Dessert with horse meat in.

Heard that Liverpool have sold Andy Carroll to Tesco's for an undisclosed fee.


I've had a tenner each way, first three win, on top scorer in the African Cup of Nations, I've gone for Zambian captain Chris Katongo at 33/1, Betfred now offer 40/1 if you fancy it. I will probably have another nibble later. He was joint top scorer last year and is also their penalty taker.

Picked a scoreline on all the FA Cup games last night with a view of trading in the last ten minutes of each game if that score was current. Was going to have 1-1 but changed my mind to 2-1 at the last minute. Only one game had that score though three of them would have been 1-1. Very small loss.

Today's horses (tomorrows main course) are:

Colour Squadron 1.20 New
Imperial Leader 1.55 New
Mountainous 2.25 New
Violin Davis 3.00 New

I've also got the latest betting on the Cheltenham Gold Cup.

Will probably post later with some footie bets.

Weekend round up

I know, so hard to believe right?

All my little bets lost on Saturday but my one big one, the over 2.5 goal double came in for £150 profit and then San Fransisco 49'ers did Green Bay for my Super bowl bet. They now travel to Atlanta and are currently 3 point favourites.

Headed down the pub for Super Sunday and had a cheeky £50 on Man Utd at 1.97. Can't believe they went off at nearly evens against Liverpool. Am gutted I didn't put more on.

Bad couple of days on the Horses. Saturday saw a tenner loss and today I failed to get a single winner on my Lucky 15. Still think there's a big winner due soon.

Had £10 on Les Miserables to win best picture at the Oscars at 14's. Worse films have won and this is currently showing and fresh in the memory.

That's it for now, hopefully a better day on the gee gees tomorrow. I must stop following Chopras advice.

And now for the most important piece of info you need to know, Hanks back.

Love Californication.

Laters

Saturday's bets

So many I think I'll probably forget a few.

Man of the Match bets QPR V Spuds

Sandro, Mackie, any goalkeeper (small stakes).

Home wins

Fullham, Cardiff, Forest, Hull, MK Dons, Shrewsbury, Rotherham (smallish stakes)

Away wins

Spurs, Brentford, Notts Co, Doncaster, Wycombe (smallish stakes)

Over 2.5 goal Double

'Boro and Forest (large stakes)

Away single

Notts Co (medium stakes)

Went to see Life of Pi last night, walked out after 30 minutes when I realised it wasn't Frank Lampards life story.

Never understood why the English used to boo him. If he had played for Wales there would have been a queue miles long waiting to give him him a Tommy tank.

Will probably add a lucky 31 later.

And here it is.

Black Thunder 2.40 K
Pete the Feat 3.35 W
The New One 3.00 W
Cruchain 2.05 K
Dashing George 3.25 W

Good luck if you're on anything today.

Football - funny old game

Howard Webb has been announced as next week's referee in Manchester United's win over Liverpool. Being the funny old game that it is though could there be an upset on the cards?

Big upset tonight as Swansea beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Mate of mine knows Laudrup and he gave me a copy of his match plan. Interesting reading.

  As you can see the pass to Michu option worked a treat. Stupidly I didn't have a bet on the Spaniard to score tonight. I have had a bet on him to be PFA player of the year at 12's. If La Liga players can make the World XI team then surely Michu, being Spanish, will win the PFA award. Let's be fair, it's only him or Torres isn't it?

Ronaldo has just scored an hat-trick as I type. What price Messi to do the same or better tomorrow? I'll let you know later.

On under 205.5 in the Nuggets/Magic game tonight. Small bet.

Horses went shite today, first time all four of lost on the Lucky 15 in quite some time. Hopefully I'll bounce back tomorrow.

Laters.

Pretty faces

Fifa announced their World XI yesterday and what a team.

Casillas, Ramos, Marcello, Pique, Alves, Xavi, Alonso, Iniesta, Ronalso, Falcao and some geezer called Messi.

Not a bad team. Nice to see all the Chelsea players who won the Champions League in 2012. Also, the Bayern Munich players who reached their second final in three years and lets not forget the Juventus team who went the entire season unbeaten. Dortmund did a German league and cup double as well so nice to see a few of their players in the Eleven.

Blatter you cunt.

Ronaldo lost out to Messi again for the Ballon D'or.

No wonder he looks so upset. Could you imagine having to go home and shag this munter?

My hero released a new single today. No uproar or months of stringing the public along just a quick mention of his 66th Birthday and then every station playing his new record.

Here he is looking like a down and out when he had his mug shot taken.

What a Legend.

Another two winners today and two seconds as well. Can feel a big winner coming soon.

Nearly pulled the trigger tonight on Villa but for some reason I just couldn't. Thank fuck as they got stuffed 3-1 by League 2 Bradford. After beating Arsenal in the last round they have now beaten more Premiership teams than QPR.

Later.

Weekend round up

Two winners on the Lucky 31 for a £15 loss. Did another Lucky 15 today with two winners for another small loss. Don't really mind has I know I'm going to land one soon which will put me up for the month.

Darts bet lost although our man did have two darts to win his match but couldn't hit his double. Meh.

Lay of Cardiff won and I followed that up with a bet on Michu to score against Arsenal. That looked dead and buried when he didn't start but the man came good, scoring 90 seconds after coming on as a sub. Then I put those winnings on Under 45.5 in the Seattle match last night. Score was something like 24-14 giving me £141 for my next bet. Here's the thread where my bets are recorded. It's worth a read if you have a spare few hours.

Looking ahead there's no Football of note other than the Spanish Cup this week and I've given up on NBA for awhile so looks like I'll be having a quiet one other than my daily Lucky 15. Happy with that though as I've found a new TV programme to watch.

Ringer stars my favourite vampire slayer, Sarah Michelle Gellar as twin Sisters.

I've seen the first four episodes and will be watching the rest this week with no Footie on the box.

Talking of footie, the best player on the planet just won his fourth straight Ballon D'or. Some player.

Laters

Lucky 31

Big day of racing and I've pushed the boat out on these five beauties,

Quacity 1.40 New
Cedre Bleu 2.10 Che
Gevrey Chambertin 2.05 Win
Big Fella Thanks 2.40 Win
Alfie Spinner 3.40 San

All decent prices other than Gevrey whose 5/6. Had a £1.50 lucky 31 which pays a small fortune.

Also layed Cardiff in the footie. Taken an academy team plus two first team players who have been out injured long term in McPhail and Velikojna (who hasn't played much first team anyway). Hopefully Macclesfield look at this as a real snub, think "fuck you" and play Cardiff's youngsters off the park. I layed at 1.68 but it's now up to 1.73 and rising.

Basketball went tits up yet again, wondering why I'm bothering at the minute. Might have a rest tonight.

I've had a bet on the darts, De Graaf at 2.10. His opponent is out of sorts and studying for Uni and the odds should flip flop by tomorrow.

After yesterdays Rugby winner I've gone for the same thing in the Exeter V Northampton game. Exeter HT Northampton FT @ 7.50.

Will probably do a little fun acca in the footie but haven't really looked at it yet.

Bought my Daughter an i phone 5 for Xmas and saw her playing temple run yesterday. Her highest score is only 2000m further than mine. Ffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk. Have been playing non stop and now can't see properly. Need to go for a walk down the bookies and clear my head. For some reason this is all I can think of now?

 Later.

Quiet day

Didn't have a bet today on the Gee Gee's. was busy in work, hit the gym and then had to take my Daughter shopping for new shoes. By the time I got home I couldn't be arsed looking through the cards. Doesn't help that all my other bets are going South. Another NBA bet lost last night with the Kicks and Spurs trying their hardest to miss but stay ahead. Fuckers.

I'm on this tonight so swerve it if at all possible.

http://www.paddypower.com/bet/powerplay/enhanced-special?ev_oc_grp_ids=239489

I'm also on Worsecter HT, Leicester FT at 7's in the Rugby for small stakes. Should be a real grind of a game and with Worcester home they might get ahead but Leicester should win in 80 minutes.

Edit 14-5 HT, C'mon Leicester.
Edit Edit 14-19 FT. Easy game.

Me old mucker Simon "Amatay" Jones has been on Twitter telling everyone how happy he is with West Hams new signings. Here's a picture of the Gayer.

Have a good one folks.

Groundhog day

Walcott scores, ruled out for offside. Lampard scores, ruled out for offside. You've got to be shitting me, right? Worst thing was Lampard was only offside because QPR goalie Julio Cesar had a lion bar in his pocket and Frank was torn between staying onside or getting first dibs when Julio unwrapped it. So, instead of being £100+ up I'm £40 down. Such is life.

Yesterdays lucky 15 doubled my money with 3 winners and guess what, I had another three winners today. See there is some thought gone into this blogs title.

Todays Horses were, No Deal, Illustrious Forest, Bussa and Saffron Town and I'll probably get back £30 ish for a £15 stake. Yet again I had problems with the playbook so didn't get any money down on-line.

Tonights NBA bet of which I'm running as good as I am in the Footie is over 206.5 in the Knicks/Spurs game.

I've joined a gym to help shed the four stone I've gained since I've given up smoking and it's a bit of a bargain. Twenty quid a quarter gets you this.

And if you're wondering just how fat I am then..............................................

Hopefully in a few months I'll be looking like this.....................................................

Catch you all soon and thanks for reading.

Another day, another dollar

Walcott reverted to type last night and played like his usual cuntish self. Maybe I'n being a little unfair on him, his freekick was diverted in for the Arsenal goal and I believe he may have had one ruled out for offside. He still didn't fucking score though.

And in the same vane I'm going for Frank to score tonight for Chelsea.

Can't believe they've let his contract run down. He's a fantastic player and I'm sure someone will snap him up for big money.

In the can't believe class I'm also astounded that Romeo Beckham has started a career as a Model. With his Dad being thick and his Mum being thin I thought he might have become a medium.

Also, can you believe someone let their kid go out like this? The mind boggles. Who the fuck dresses their kid like that and lets them take an umbrella out?

Done a lucky 15 today but had problems with my Blackberry playbook which was playing up. Every time I tried to scroll down it would pick the race where I first touched the screen and it nearly ended up smashed into the wall. Eventually I gave up and headed up the bookies. Missed the first race which was a winner, typical, and put these on.

Desert Cry
Ishkawa
Miss Bunter
Sofis Spirit

The first three won at marginally odds on prices and the last which was a replacement for Green Flag trailed in last of three. Am going to spend the next hour sorting out my Playbook so I don't have a repeat performance tomorrow. Not sure of the actual winnings, will find out when I pop in with my ticket.

Started back training today and opened up with a 10k cycle ride and then pushed a few weights. Am hoping to shed a few pounds (stone) this year so will be training most days. Currently weigh a mahoosive 16 stone so need to lose at least three to three and half stone.

Will be back a little later with an NBA bet or two.

Edit

Rafa couldn't believe Chelsea could have 25 shots on target and not score even though he left their best two players on the bench. Fucking dick.

On a Cavs, Raptors and Pacers treble tonight for small stakes.

Thanks for reading.

2013 - Could this be a winning year?

I like a punt but I've never really kept records. I was probably up last year thanks mainly to a lucky 15 with a 50/1 winner for a decent four figure sum. Poker wise I was probably down but my heart wasn't really in it and I pretty much gave up after the APAT event and I guess I didn't play more than 100 tourneys all year. Can't see that changing much but gambling wise I'm definitely going to keep better records.

Starting today.

Had a £2.50 lucky 15 this afternoon which had the following winners: Hawkes point 1/1 Woolfall Sovereign 4/5 Tarquinius 2/1

I also had Rakaan at 4/1 who managed to get boxed in when there were only six runners???? Well played Georgie Baker you useless twat.

That bet made about £30 so I've put £25 of that on Theo Walcott to score anytime at a touch over evens.

I've got a couple of bets running at the moment. £50 on the 49ers to win the Superbowl at 6's. Also got the Golden State Warriors to win the NBA @ 136/1 for a fiver and to win the Pacific conference at 16's for a tenner.

When I get five minutes I'll knock a spreadsheet up. Until then...........

On over 206 in the Nuggets v Clippers game.