Been back from holidays for what seems a lietime now and still haven't written about it. A few other things have happened since and I should write a post about those as well. Maybe next time.
I'm nice and tanned after my Hols so I decided to go to the local pool to show off the tan. I was asked to leave by this lifeguard due to the large bulge in my Speedos upsetting some of the other swimmers. I pointed out another guy in similar trunks and asked why he wasn't being asked to leave. "Because he hasn't shit himself" he replied.
On to other business.
Cardiff City are on a roll. They beat a Portsmouth team which, whilst struggling this season, was still full of Premiership players. They've made the biggest signing of the season by bagging Craig Bellamy and are now the team to beat. They've also signed two players in the close season equally as important as Bellers. Olinfanjana on loan from Hull and Drinkwater loaned from Man Utd have been bossing the midfield. People I know have said that Drinwater could eventually take over from Scholes at Man Utd. Oli wasn't due to play today but after loaning Gerrard to Hull both teams have agreed that both players can play. Better news for Cardiff than Hull. You can back Cardiff at 1.64 which I have for £100. Nothings guaranteed but I like this bet. I've also had a little dabble on Cardiff, QPR, Scunthorpe, Peterborough, Sheffield Wed, Torquay and Rotherham, £7 to win £580 and a lay accumulator on Colchester, Hartlepool, Rochdale, Gillingham, Hereford, Lincoln, Morecambe and Northampton.
May have another bet later and if I do I'll post on here. Good luck if you bet on anything today.
Later.
Cardiff didn't start with Bellamy, Chopra, Boothroyd and Drinkwater but Oli netted the first and then his replacement, Rae, scored the winner. Great result with those big guns mssing. Tonight I've had a treble on Barca, Arsenal and Man Utd, short odds but returns 1.71.
Saturday, 11 September 2010
Monday, 30 August 2010
Footie
First bet of the year tonight, £50 on Atletico Madrid at 1.52. Posting a bit late as they are now 2-0 up. Sorry.
Will write a post up about the Hols soon. Had a cracking time, chilled out and ate and drank far too much. Lovely place and well worth a visit.
Laters.
Will write a post up about the Hols soon. Had a cracking time, chilled out and ate and drank far too much. Lovely place and well worth a visit.
Laters.
Friday, 20 August 2010
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Mo the farmer
Some of you may have noticed that the legend that is "Mo Mad dog Stoneskin" left a comment on my last post. Mo has been missing in action for the last couple of months because of his new job. I must admit I applaud him and his Wife for leaving the rat race along with a six figure salary behind and moving "Oop North" to become a farmer. I do however fear for their well being after every conversation I have with him. Take this one:
I get an e-mail from Mo the gist of which is;
Hi Rubbish, I've got two horses and I can never remember which one is which. Any ideas how I can tell them apart?
I suggest he cuts the tail off one and this works great until the other one got his tail caught in a bush. I then suggest he notches the ear of one of the horses and this works until the other horse caught his ear on some barbed wire. Finally I tell him to measure them and he rings me back all excited to let me know that the black horse is two inches bigger than the white one.
I popped up to see him the other day and his Wife told me he was in the barn. I walk in and there he is doing a sexy striptease in front of this big red piece of machinery.
"Fucking hell Mo, what are you doing"? I enquired.
"Oh hi Rubbish. Me and the Missus haven't been getting on too well so I went to see one of those therapists that told me to do something sexy to a tractor"!
I could go on but I wont.
Good to see you back Mo, hopefully there'll be a post or two from you soon.
I get an e-mail from Mo the gist of which is;
Hi Rubbish, I've got two horses and I can never remember which one is which. Any ideas how I can tell them apart?
I suggest he cuts the tail off one and this works great until the other one got his tail caught in a bush. I then suggest he notches the ear of one of the horses and this works until the other horse caught his ear on some barbed wire. Finally I tell him to measure them and he rings me back all excited to let me know that the black horse is two inches bigger than the white one.
I popped up to see him the other day and his Wife told me he was in the barn. I walk in and there he is doing a sexy striptease in front of this big red piece of machinery.
"Fucking hell Mo, what are you doing"? I enquired.
"Oh hi Rubbish. Me and the Missus haven't been getting on too well so I went to see one of those therapists that told me to do something sexy to a tractor"!
I could go on but I wont.
Good to see you back Mo, hopefully there'll be a post or two from you soon.
Friday, 6 August 2010
Same old same old
I've written a few posts but haven't published them because I couldn't get my sample spreadsheets to line up properly. Basically, I'm starting a gambling campaign this season with a £1k starting bank which I'm hoping to turn into a sizeable amount by this time next year. If anyone can tell me how to post spreadsheets then leave a comment.
In other news I've been off work for a few days with my Daughter. We've spent two of them on Mario Kart where I absolutely stuffed her. I've taken all her pocket money teaching her PLO and now she's sulking and playing Super Mario on her own. Loser.
I've just joined Boyles Poker mainly because there's a few RTR guys going to the Dublin Poker Open in October. Played 2 MTT's coming 13th in one for peanuts. Was a bit gutting because I was chip leader and hadn't had one decent hand all the way through. Lost one big pot when my AJ spades on a A 10S 2S couldn't get home against A2. A King on the turn gave me outs with any K,Q,J,10 and a spade. FML.
I hope Aaron Ramsay makes a full recovery from his broken leg so that Cesc Fabregas can fuck off back to Spain. Rambo, even at 17, is better than Fabregas now and will be the best midfielder Arsenal have had since Liam Brady. You heard it here first.
We're off to Madeira in a couple of weeks. Don't know much about the place other than praying to God that your pilot has balls of steel.
Anyone been there? Does the landing look as bad as the photo? Is there anything to do there?
Got massive tooth ache at the moment and just realised that I haven't been to a dentist for 30 years!
On series 5 of the Sopranos which I kind of remember watching. Have series 6 to finish with which I definitely haven't watched. After that I'm all out of box sets to watch. Anyone got anything they can recommend?
Later.
In other news I've been off work for a few days with my Daughter. We've spent two of them on Mario Kart where I absolutely stuffed her. I've taken all her pocket money teaching her PLO and now she's sulking and playing Super Mario on her own. Loser.
I've just joined Boyles Poker mainly because there's a few RTR guys going to the Dublin Poker Open in October. Played 2 MTT's coming 13th in one for peanuts. Was a bit gutting because I was chip leader and hadn't had one decent hand all the way through. Lost one big pot when my AJ spades on a A 10S 2S couldn't get home against A2. A King on the turn gave me outs with any K,Q,J,10 and a spade. FML.
I hope Aaron Ramsay makes a full recovery from his broken leg so that Cesc Fabregas can fuck off back to Spain. Rambo, even at 17, is better than Fabregas now and will be the best midfielder Arsenal have had since Liam Brady. You heard it here first.
We're off to Madeira in a couple of weeks. Don't know much about the place other than praying to God that your pilot has balls of steel.
Anyone been there? Does the landing look as bad as the photo? Is there anything to do there?
Got massive tooth ache at the moment and just realised that I haven't been to a dentist for 30 years!
On series 5 of the Sopranos which I kind of remember watching. Have series 6 to finish with which I definitely haven't watched. After that I'm all out of box sets to watch. Anyone got anything they can recommend?
Later.
Saturday, 3 July 2010
The Big G
My mate Big G got married recently after going out with his Missus for sixteen years. Why? Fuck knows.
For his stag weekend we went here. Before you click on the link though carry on reading and see if you can guess what we did.
To be honest I didn’t want to do it. If I wanted to be scared shitless I would have looked at Mrs Rubbish naked. But it was G’s day so I went along like a brave little soldier. Twenty of us turned up with about eighteen of us wanting to go straight to a bar. G’s Brother didn’t help after telling everyone that the last time he had been here two people had been rushed to Hospital, one with a broken leg and the other with a fractured skull.
We split into four groups of five and our instructor made a great job of making matters worse. I was with G, Dave, G’s brother and his mate who was an enforcer for some drug baron in North Wales. The first thing our instructor says is “be prepared for all your worst fears to come true. I’m not going to lie to you, you’re all going in and it’s going to get messy. You need to listen to what I’m going to tell you because it may save you or your mate’s lives”.
He then gave us our instructions for the next two hours. When he barked them out we needed to follow them to the word or face the worst. To make matters worse we weren’t alone. The British Olympic hopefuls were there and everything was ramped up fully for their benefit.
The next two hours flew by. It was one of the best mornings I’ve ever had. We all went in several times but luckily no one got hurt. The Olympic crew were awesome to watch. At one point our instructor rammed one of them who was in severe difficulty to flip them over the right way. The course has jets which go from one to sixteen, we were on fourteen. It was frightening but exhilarating. If you ever get a chance then go, it’s a blast.
Did you guess where we went and what we did?
Yeah right.
White water rafting costs £40 for two hours and it’s the best £40 I’ve spent, except that one time in Prague but that’s another story. If you’re ever in Cardiff for a stag weekend or down for the Rugby and have a few hours to kill then I highly recommend giving this a whirl. The Olympians by the way were the canoeing hopefuls and the one that we flipped over by ramming him was under water for about thirty seconds. It’s that tough in places, even for guys who do this at Olympic standard.
The rest of a day was a real blast. A few guys who I haven’t seen for several years turned up and we did a bit of damage around Cardiff Bay. We finally ended up in our local where we drank until it was light and the Landlord cooked us breakfast. Happy days.
In the wedding G’s brother made a speech which was pretty cool and he told everyone about his Mums worst day with them all.
G has two elder brothers, both top blokes. The story revolved around G when he was still in school. He was sixteen at the time but was one of the best Rugby players around and there were maybe five or six boys of his age who all the top teams were looking at. Dave was actually one of the others. Anyway, G’s eldest brother who was a playing first class had just been layed up with a serious knee injury. There was talk that he might not play again and certainly no chance of playing first class or for Wales. Luckily this proved to be complete crap and he played thirty odd times for Wales but at the time it was really serious. G’s middle brother was playing the next tier down and due to a successful TV career, didn’t want to go any further.
The coach of the club he played for had watched G and wanted to get him before the big clubs landed him so he pitched up at G’s house and started sweet talking G’s Mum. She was dead against G playing at such a high standard at his age but his eldest Brother had played under this coach and put a word in. The fact that the middle Brother was also playing for the team swung it and G made his debut, much against his Mum’s better judgement, versus Bridgend.
Bridgend were rammed with International players and G’s opposite number was the open side flanker for Wales at that time. The game was quite nasty and mid way through the first half this guy took G out from behind, breaking his jaw in two places. G’s brother saw what happened and went for the guy. A huge fight broke out and G’s brother got knocked out in the melee.
G’s Mum was sat at home with the eldest Brother when the phone rang. A barely audible and murmuring G spoke first.
“Now don’t worry Mam but I’m at the hospital and my jaws broken”.
“I knew it; I knew I shouldn’t have let you play. You’re far too young to be playing at the level. Never again. I’m coming down there now”.
“No don’t come down Mam, I’m okay and Marks here”.
“Okay put Mark on the phone”.
“I can’t, he’s having a brain scan”.
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat”.
Kids, who would have them?
Anyhow, Snake, DoV, No Cash, Mr O, any chance you lazy fuckers are going to update your blogs any time soon?
Later.
For his stag weekend we went here. Before you click on the link though carry on reading and see if you can guess what we did.
To be honest I didn’t want to do it. If I wanted to be scared shitless I would have looked at Mrs Rubbish naked. But it was G’s day so I went along like a brave little soldier. Twenty of us turned up with about eighteen of us wanting to go straight to a bar. G’s Brother didn’t help after telling everyone that the last time he had been here two people had been rushed to Hospital, one with a broken leg and the other with a fractured skull.
We split into four groups of five and our instructor made a great job of making matters worse. I was with G, Dave, G’s brother and his mate who was an enforcer for some drug baron in North Wales. The first thing our instructor says is “be prepared for all your worst fears to come true. I’m not going to lie to you, you’re all going in and it’s going to get messy. You need to listen to what I’m going to tell you because it may save you or your mate’s lives”.
He then gave us our instructions for the next two hours. When he barked them out we needed to follow them to the word or face the worst. To make matters worse we weren’t alone. The British Olympic hopefuls were there and everything was ramped up fully for their benefit.
The next two hours flew by. It was one of the best mornings I’ve ever had. We all went in several times but luckily no one got hurt. The Olympic crew were awesome to watch. At one point our instructor rammed one of them who was in severe difficulty to flip them over the right way. The course has jets which go from one to sixteen, we were on fourteen. It was frightening but exhilarating. If you ever get a chance then go, it’s a blast.
Did you guess where we went and what we did?
Yeah right.
White water rafting costs £40 for two hours and it’s the best £40 I’ve spent, except that one time in Prague but that’s another story. If you’re ever in Cardiff for a stag weekend or down for the Rugby and have a few hours to kill then I highly recommend giving this a whirl. The Olympians by the way were the canoeing hopefuls and the one that we flipped over by ramming him was under water for about thirty seconds. It’s that tough in places, even for guys who do this at Olympic standard.
The rest of a day was a real blast. A few guys who I haven’t seen for several years turned up and we did a bit of damage around Cardiff Bay. We finally ended up in our local where we drank until it was light and the Landlord cooked us breakfast. Happy days.
In the wedding G’s brother made a speech which was pretty cool and he told everyone about his Mums worst day with them all.
G has two elder brothers, both top blokes. The story revolved around G when he was still in school. He was sixteen at the time but was one of the best Rugby players around and there were maybe five or six boys of his age who all the top teams were looking at. Dave was actually one of the others. Anyway, G’s eldest brother who was a playing first class had just been layed up with a serious knee injury. There was talk that he might not play again and certainly no chance of playing first class or for Wales. Luckily this proved to be complete crap and he played thirty odd times for Wales but at the time it was really serious. G’s middle brother was playing the next tier down and due to a successful TV career, didn’t want to go any further.
The coach of the club he played for had watched G and wanted to get him before the big clubs landed him so he pitched up at G’s house and started sweet talking G’s Mum. She was dead against G playing at such a high standard at his age but his eldest Brother had played under this coach and put a word in. The fact that the middle Brother was also playing for the team swung it and G made his debut, much against his Mum’s better judgement, versus Bridgend.
Bridgend were rammed with International players and G’s opposite number was the open side flanker for Wales at that time. The game was quite nasty and mid way through the first half this guy took G out from behind, breaking his jaw in two places. G’s brother saw what happened and went for the guy. A huge fight broke out and G’s brother got knocked out in the melee.
G’s Mum was sat at home with the eldest Brother when the phone rang. A barely audible and murmuring G spoke first.
“Now don’t worry Mam but I’m at the hospital and my jaws broken”.
“I knew it; I knew I shouldn’t have let you play. You’re far too young to be playing at the level. Never again. I’m coming down there now”.
“No don’t come down Mam, I’m okay and Marks here”.
“Okay put Mark on the phone”.
“I can’t, he’s having a brain scan”.
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat”.
Kids, who would have them?
Anyhow, Snake, DoV, No Cash, Mr O, any chance you lazy fuckers are going to update your blogs any time soon?
Later.
Friday, 25 June 2010
More World Cup
I had a close call on Wednesday when my Wife came home early from work and nearly caught me watching the English match. Luckily I managed to get some porn on and whip my cock out in time to save any embarassment.
Other news and the English squad went to an African orphanage this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of those with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible" said Solomon Umboto aged 6.
Not sure about the impossible as Germany haven't looked that great. Neither have England mind so every chance of penalties.
Have a great weekend.
Other news and the English squad went to an African orphanage this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of those with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible" said Solomon Umboto aged 6.
Not sure about the impossible as Germany haven't looked that great. Neither have England mind so every chance of penalties.
Have a great weekend.
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