Mo the farmer

Some of you may have noticed that the legend that is "Mo Mad dog Stoneskin" left a comment on my last post. Mo has been missing in action for the last couple of months because of his new job. I must admit I applaud him and his Wife for leaving the rat race along with a six figure salary behind and moving "Oop North" to become a farmer. I do however fear for their well being after every conversation I have with him. Take this one:
I get an e-mail from Mo the gist of which is;
Hi Rubbish, I've got two horses and I can never remember which one is which. Any ideas how I can tell them apart?
I suggest he cuts the tail off one and this works great until the other one got his tail caught in a bush. I then suggest he notches the ear of one of the horses and this works until the other horse caught his ear on some barbed wire. Finally I tell him to measure them and he rings me back all excited to let me know that the black horse is two inches bigger than the white one.
I popped up to see him the other day and his Wife told me he was in the barn. I walk in and there he is doing a sexy striptease in front of this big red piece of machinery.
"Fucking hell Mo, what are you doing"? I enquired.
"Oh hi Rubbish. Me and the Missus haven't been getting on too well so I went to see one of those therapists that told me to do something sexy to a tractor"!
I could go on but I wont.
Good to see you back Mo, hopefully there'll be a post or two from you soon.