Sunday, 29 March 2009

Worst spell ever

Just running so bad it's quite funny.
Have lost about thirty SNG's in a row and haven't cashed in an MTT all week.
Have lost every cash game I've been in and am currently 8 BB's down or $200.
Have lost every race I've been in and can't see how I'm going to win one.
Full Tilt is absolutely killing me. Played for three hours the other night and didn't have one PP.
Am giving up for a week and saving my money until I feel confident I might win a hand.
Am also feeling like shit at the moment and have a really big week in work. We have our year end stock check which I'm in charge of and I don't feel like doing fuck all. Spent all weekend in bed watching 24 series 6. Stupidly, I have 24 series 4 and 5 to watch which I haven't seen fully yet. Also have the Sopranos series 6 which I haven't seen as yet. I'm off the week after next which cannot come soon enough. Can see a massive DVD session coming on. I've also got the following DVD's which I've got from car boot sales which I haven't seen: Underworld 1 and 2, Van Helsing, Million Dollar baby, Deja Vu, Mean Machine and Be Cool.
Just watched Criminal Minds on Living which was quite a spooky episode. Thank fuck you can drive the length of Britain without having to stop off overnight in some shit hole Motel.
About ten years ago there was a top ten worst resorts to stay in. I'd been to seven of them including the entire top five. Funnily, the worst place I've been to wasn't on the list. I've written about the Dominican Republic before and that was pretty wild and Egypt was pretty shit but the worst place I went was Crete.
The place we stayed was okay and the beach was not bad but for some reason the locals just didn't take to us. It was something to do with one of the boys who they mistook for a Greek Cypriot or something. Every bar we went to or place to eat there would be trouble. The first night we were sat around a table in a bar, six of us, and the waiter walks up and slaps my mate around the back of the head. We were all sat there, mouths wide open, and he says "we don't serve his sort in here". Stupidly, my mate who they thught was Greek is called Dafydd Jones!!!! Anyhow, six Rugby playing guys aren't going to take that. Carnage. In fourteen days we had about twelve fights. By the end of the fortnight it was like coming out of prison. It got so bad, people wouldn't talk to us because they knew there would be trouble at the end of the night. I've been going abroad since I was sixteen and I can't remember getting in a brawl other than Crete.
Actually I've just thought of somewhere else but that wasn't with the locals. I was on a Rugby tour in Cyprus where we played the RAF and Army teams stationed there. My mate and I had sloped off with these two girls and were sitting in a bar when all these pissed up Football idiots came in. You know the type, tatoos, fat, Football shirts etc. One of them was giving it large saying to the girls "why don't you come over here with some real men" and all that crap. My mate, an open side flanker and not known for keeping a cool head, started to lose it and I could see it was all going to kick off and we were seriously out numbered. My mate is staring at the biggest and loudest of the twelve of them and they're all bouncing about calling us sheep shaggers when our entire squad walk in. Suddenly there's twelve of them and twenty eight of us. My mate drags the biggest wanker out the back and kicks fuck out of him while the other eleven just sit there saying fuck all. He walks back in and offers the next one outside who declines as does every other one of them. I just sit there pissing myself laughing. The manager of the bar bought us drinks all night after the louts walked off with their tails between their legs. Must have cost him a fortune. Had a great shag at the end of the night as well.

Monday, 23 March 2009

Wasted weekend numero tres

Jeez, where to start.

Spent a fortune this weekend all in the pursuit of happiness.

There must have been a big crash somewhere in Cardiff on Friday night because my five minute journey to drop my Daughter off to ballet took 40 minutes. In the end I went to Tesco's to pick up some stuff for my Missus for Mothers day. She wanted a couple of DVD's and a brain train game for the Nintendo DS. Because my nipper was with me I also had to buy her something. £180 later I leave Tesco's with 4 shopping bags full of crap.

Saturday was superb until about seven in the evening. Had nipped into town early to get my Mum a watch and bought myself a nice little DKNY one. Also picked up a pair of Adidas Samba trainers, the only trainers worth having. Can't believe the price on some of the shit that passes as footwear these days. Quick haircut on the way home and then down the pub for 12.30. Couple of Guinness before off to a mates for a barbie. I think that was a first, sitting outside watching Rugby, sinking a few cold ones and stuffing my fat little face in March in Wales. Bus into town about 5 ish and got in the Stadium just before kick off. Electric atmosphere and high expectations along with £3.80 a pint. How the fuck do they get away with that. The game wasn't bad and contarary to Warren Gatlands claims that the Welsh hate the Irish, I was quite pleased for the Irish fans who have waited a lifetime to to witness a Grand Slam. Needless to say Cardiff was absolutely buzzing after the match with the Irish on fine form. The last I remember was my mate and I chatting to three Irish girls, two of whom were twins. Their birthday is today so I stumped up for two guinness and three Mojitos. £28 fucking pounds.

Went up my Mums yesterday for Mothers day. Most expensive one ever. She was picking up her new car on Saturday and when I talked to her on Friday she mentioned that she was only getting £2k for her old one in part exchange. As a throwaway line I said "don't bother, I'll buy it off you for that". She rings me Sunday morning and says "have you sorted your insurance out yet"? In my hungover stupour I'm thinking "what is she on about" before my brain clicks into gear and then I think "oh fuck"! So I sort out my insurance (£260), catch a train up to my Mums including taxi to the train station (£12), hand over (£2k) and am now the proud owner of a four year old, 15k on the clock, Ford Ka. Bollocks.

I suppose, when I sell my shit heap the Ka will have cost me £500 so I've got a bargain but it's still a fucking expensive weekend.

Lost $10 playing poker on Sunday night.


Thursday, 19 March 2009

Shock horror

Guess what, I do play poker occasionaly when there's a quiet time with no one updating their blogs. Had two, third place cashes in the $350 guaranteed and the Daily Full House for $51 and $132 respectively. Along with a few SNG's I've made £170 over the last two days. Might just cover Saturdays drink fest.
Wales v Ireland is always a sad time for me. My Dad was a massive Rugby fan and unfortunately he died in Dublin on a Rugby weekend. I will always remember his best mate Dai ringing my Mum to tell her. They had been on a tour of the Guinness brewery and my old man had sunk a few and decided to dive into a vat of the black stuff and drowned. My Mum asked Dai if he had gone quickly to which Dai replied "not really, he got out three tmes for a piss".
Don't think I'll be posting before Sunday so have a good one folks and I'll catch you later.
If you're bored check out Amatays comment on the last post, could keep some of you busy for a few hours.

Monday, 16 March 2009

Wasted weekend part deux

This time wasted means totally pissed.
Out on Friday for a few beers. Met up with a couple of mates about sevenish, got home about oneish. £40.
Car boot sale on Saturday morning with my Daughter. £20.
Out at one for the footie, first round £25. Watch Wales struggle against Italy and then Ireland v Scotland. Another £25 round. Then, as Wales had played Italy, off to the most expensive Italian I've been in. £50 a head, £35 of it on shite wine.
Get home at fuck knows what time.
£40 in Tescos on Sunday morning followed by Sunday lunch at a Harvesters which was another £40 for three of us. England v Wales down the pub and then the Celtic v Rangers game. Another £25. Poker in the evening plus a few beers in my other local. £25.
All in all reckon I've done well over £300 this weekend and all I have to show for it is another two chins. I could have flown to Rome, two nights in a hotel, ticket for the match and a shag and wouldn't have spent £300.
Worst still, next weekend is going to be even worse.
My ticket for the Wales v Ireland Championship decider is £75. There's at least ten of us out which means £30 rounds. Then there's food and rip off prices in the Stadium and a taxi home when I only live fifteen minutes walk from the centre of Cardiff. And even worse it's Mothers day.
Now I don't mind spending money on my dear old Mum and I've seen a nice watch I think she will like. A chain of high street jewellers were doing a two for one deal before Xmas so I bought my Missus and Daughter a couple of nice watches. I also had a 50% off voucher for the new year and has I need a new watch I reckon £100 will cover the both of us.
But having a ten year old means I have to buy my Missus a Mothers day present as well.
My Daughter asked her what she wanted and she said to get something for the garden. I'm thinking of digging a six foot hole and when she peers in cracking her over the head with a shovel.
I stopped off at a garden centre today and what a load of crap. Water features so shite and so expensive you would be better and cheaper off flying to Niagra Falls once a month. And don't get me started on the statues. Why are they all of animals? Frogs, Rabbits, Weasels??? I'd rather buy one of Kauto Star. Jeez, I'd rather get one of Frankie Dettori. He's only four foot fucking four so a life size one can't cost that much.
Anyhow, I seem to have picked up a few American Mom readers so what would you Ladies like for Mothers Day? I'm guessing you do have Mothers Day in America or did Bush start taxing it so you could invade the Christmas Islands? Come on Moms, give me some ideas and inspiration.
Won £2.60 today playing poker. So lucky I've got a second income from poker to subsidide all this spending.

Monday, 9 March 2009

Wasted weekend

I’d like to say it was wasted as in totally pissed all weekend but it wasn’t. It was wasted as in, did nothing?
Had a half day Friday and was going to play Golf but didn’t. Picked my Daughter up from school, took her to ballet, mooched about for a bit, went home, cooked dinner, went to bed.
Saturday, went to a car boot sale. Now I absolutely love car boot sales and can spend hours browsing around the stalls but I couldn’t be bothered this week. Bought four books, Jimmy Whites autobiography, Filth by Irvine Welsh, The world according to Clarkson and the Witches of Chiswick by Robert Rankin. Also bought a few DVD’s, the Matrix, Deep Blue Sea, Van Hesling, some Doctor Who DVD’S for my Daughter (and Missus who watches more children’s TV than my ten year old) and a Led Zeppelin on the rock trail DVD. In the afternoon I watched Wales win the Dubai sevens which was quite unexpected. Played some poker in the night and broke even.
Sunday, went up my Mums for dinner with my Daughter. My Missus was dead rough all day Sunday, throwing up everywhere and generally getting on my Daughter and my nerves. Why can’t women suffer in silence like us guys? Played some poker in the night and broke even again.
I’ve been playing on William Hills and have been entering these headhunter tournies. They aren’t for me. My MTT game is all about no risk early on and then total maniac once I’ve gone deep. I also played a £3 scalp tourney. Even though I final tabled in one and made the money in two more, I managed to make about £7. The scalp one summed up the entire weekend. I hadn’t read the rules beforehand because I registered with about two minutes left. I had been playing for one hour and twenty minutes when a little screen flashed up saying “congratulations for making the final table”. I had $20,000 in chips and was the shortie of the six left but the chip leader only had $50,000 so I was pretty confident of making a late charge. A quick check of the lobby showed that 170 had entered. Brilliant, guaranteed 6th of 170, how much was I looking at. That’s when I noticed there was no prize pool. You only won by taking scalps. Of the 164 people who had fallen by the wayside I had managed to knock out 2. Fucking 2. I had amassed the grand total of £5.40 and it had cost me £3.30 to enter. £2.10 profit for one hour and twenty minutes of grinding. What a fucking waste. I've had street urchins from Bombay e-mailing me all day taking the piss, £2.10 for one and a half hours work, pffft, I wouldn't get out of bed for that!!!
On to other business. When I have nothing to do my mind races. I suppose I’m quite creative and my imagination seems to have no bounds. I’ve actually started writing six books over the last twenty years but haven’t finished one of them (not quite true, read on). I get about ten chapters in and my brain goes off on another tangent and I start another. I’ve got one going about a bent cop who takes over Cardiff’s underworld. Unfortunately, I started watching the Shield and realised it was never going to be as good as that so gave up. There’s another about a serial killer who strikes at the Brecon Jazz festival. Sex, drugs, guns, Sex, murder, sex and Jools Holland. Got seven chapters in and gave up. That was eighteen years ago! One that I did finish is sitting, all typed up, in the attic of my ex girlfriends house. At least it was when I walked out for a pint of milk fourteen years ago. Never went back so not sure if it’s still there now, seriously doubt it. That was a comedy but can’t really remember what it was about. Anyhow, blah, blah, blah.
Was sat about all weekend, mind racing at a thousand miles an hour, body in total shutdown and came up with a story about all the bloggers I’ve been reading over the last few months. If anyone fancies reading it let me know and I’ll commit to writing it.

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

How I shut down Cardiff

We were talking in work today about cars and specifically our first cars. Mine was a Datsun 120y. My Mum bought it for my 17th birthday and it was my pride and joy.
I'd had it a few months when a girl got raped in the town I'm from. The only thing she could tell the police was the man was driving a Datsun 120y. Needless to say I had the police up my house and after giving my alibi (in Spain), was obviously eliminated from any enquiries.
Unfortunately, for me, that didn't stop me getting pulled in every time I drove my car anywhere. Due to the seriousness of the crime I didn't mind but it was starting to get to me. I was playing amateur league footie at the time and had taken a few of the boys to some of the matches only to be followed by the cops before getting pulled over and questioned.
A couple of months after the first attack another girl was assaulted so I had the cops back up to my house. I yet again produced an alibi (for anyone reading I was innocent just in case you are wondering) and yet again proceded to get pulled over every time I left the house in my car.
Now what you have to realise was I was very young and very stupid. There's only two main roads into Cardiff one of which is Manor Way. Anyone who has driven to Cardiff via the M4 will probably have used Manor Way to get to the City Centre.
So finally, one Monday morning, I'm driving to work in Cardiff. Manor Way is about 2 miles long and has several sets of traffic lights on it. At the first set of lights I'm at the front and pull away first. There's a small rise a few hundred yards up the road and as I reach the top there's a copper with a speed gun. He was holding it like Dirty Harry and as it was early in the morning and I was getting paranoid about the number of times I had been pulled over I immediately thought "he's going to shoot". I let go of the steering wheel and put my hands over my eyes. As I went past him I could see out of the corner of my eye he was now holding the gun by his side, mouth agape in a stunned "what is this freak doing" wonderment. One second later I hit the central reservation at sixty miles an hour. My car spun around about five times before rolling onto it's roof.
Manor Way and therefore half of Cardiff was shut down for about five hours.
When I was recovering in the hospital I told the Police about the rape and all the times I had been stopped. I then explained about how I thought the copper was going to shoot me. The one copper laughed so much I thought he was going to puke.
My car was a total write off and when I rang my Mum and told her what had happened she said "Don't worry I'll sort you out a new car". She only went and bought me another fucking Datsun 120y. Within 24 hours I had the cops back up my house questioning me about the attacks. It took another 3 months before they caught the twat.
Played poker tonight and won $120. Just thought I would add that seeing as this is supposed to be a poker blog.