Monday, 25 January 2010


Not sure what's wrong with me at the moment. Got home at four on Friday afternoon and went to bed for an hour. Woke up at eight on Saturday morning! Fell asleep in the afternoon for a few hours before going to bed early. Woke up a few times mainly because DoV was texting me about the RTR trip to Manchester. Slept for thirteen hours on Saturday night and then had a couple of more hours on Sunday afternoon. Went to bed last night about eleven to get up at five this morning. Out of sixty hours from when I left work on Friday to getting up on Monday morning I've slept for forty of them!!
I'm going to the Doctors tomorrow for a check up.
Stupidly, I don't feel ill, just listless. I'm not stressed at work. In fact it's one of the easiest jobs I've ever had and the pay isn't bad either. I'm not depressed, life's great. The family are all healthy so no worries there.
Really do not know what's wrong with me. Hopefully my Doctor will.
The WCBOOP kicks off tonight. I think most of the tournaments start at 10pm UK time which is a real pain especially since I could fall asleep on a chickens lip. There's a prize for best blog reports so I'm going to have a go for that as I haven't a chance of actually winning one of the tournaments the way my luck is going.
I've noticed a few other people are struggling on the virtual felt. I know what they're going through even though I only play for fun.
Will catch up with everyones blogs tomorrow if I'm awake long enough.

First break and I'm on $1400 chips with a 1000 still left. Had AK on a A9x flop. Got it all in against a guy with A7. Turn 9, leaving him one out. Yep, final Ace on the river for us to split the pot. Aaaaaaaaaargh.

2nd break and I'm on £3k, 343 left. Doubled up when my KK hit. Landed on Dales table and was chatting to him at the time on his live feed. Limped with AK and hit an ace on the flop. He said good luck and bet $500, I went all in and he folded before calling me all the twats going.

And out in 305th when my KQ on a KQx flop runs into KK.

Off to bed for another 5 hours kip.


Monday, 18 January 2010

Betting on the Scousers

Not sure why I didn't bet on the Football at the latter end of 2009 but I've come back with a bang this year. As the title suggests, most of my bets have had a Liverpool connection.
Watched the Liverpool v Reading cup tie last Wednesday and couldn't see Liverpool holding on to their one goal lead and layed them at 1.1 going into injury time. Reading duly obliged with a 93rd minute equaliser and a further lay on Liverpool to qualify saw me clear £100 on that match.
Saturday and a sense of deja vu has Liverpool again threw away a one nil lead in the 90th minute, this time I was on at 1.12. Actually quite unluck as I layed the draw straight away at 1.07 and Kuyt missed a sitter.
Keeping up with the Scouse connection I also had Rooney to score anytime (and Lampard) and then lumped on Everton to beat Man City after having watched them stuff Arsenal the week before only to end up with a draw (another last minute equaliser).
My Liverpool betting sequence had started off a week previously with a massive bet on Ferrari to win the Formula one championship.
Okay, I can hear you all saying Ferrari, surely the quintessential Italian car manufacturer and fuck all to do with Liverpool. Well you're wrong.
Buried in the sporting press a week ago was this story which as soon as I read it prompted me to lump on.

Scousers join Ferrari.
“The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."
This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.
However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Hamilton's bird in the shower.

It seemed a good bet at the time but with hindsight I may have blown that one.
Been really busy at work again and haven't been visiting that many blogs but promise to make a concerted effort to look in on everyone this week. I've also acquired a couple more followers and am now up to 51 so thanks to everyone who has signed up. This blog has been going for a year now so I've managed to gain a follower a week which I'm quite chuffed about.
On another note I signed up for the humour blogs listings a couple of weeks ago. I got an e-mail back saying my blog didn't meet the right criteria? Now, I wouldn't mind that except have you seen some of the blogs on that site? I guess they're saying that this shite isn't funny. Fair enough but neither are 90% of the other shit blogs you already have as members. Fucking wankers are having a laugh which I suppose is quite humourous.
All the best.

Monday, 11 January 2010

Poker and understanding Female speak

Poker has been quite shite recently. Won a couple of hundred playing cash, broke even on STT’s and down about a ton on MTT’s. I’ve gone deep in a couple of tourneys but haven’t made a final table so far in 2010. Must try harder.
Had one ridiculous beat last week when my Ac Qc Jd 9d failed to get home on a Kc 10d 8c flop and some plum who had re raised me all in won with a pair of tens.
Saw a classic earlier on the same table when I folded Jx 10x 9x 8x on a Kx Kx Ax flop and two players got it all in only for an Ace to come on the river giving one quad kings and the other quad aces, Totally sick.
You’ve probably noticed these plastered all over everyone’s blogs so here is mine.
Online Poker

The WBCOOP is a free online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers, so register on WBCOOP to play.

Also, Full Tilt have their FTOP’s running in Feb. Buy ins are too big for me but I’m going to try and satellite into a couple of them over the next few weeks.
One good thing to happen recently is my Wii fit age has reduced drastically. I’m now a year younger than I actually am which is bugging my Wife and Daughter no end. The three of us have been playing on it most evenings and it’s starting to get quite competitive. Last week My Daughter was off school due to the snow so my Missus took a couple of days off. Got home one evening and the pair of them had top scored on every game. I’ve managed to claw back top spot on the obstacle course and a few of the balance games but the witches are on it as soon as my back is turned.
I guess I shouldn’t be so competitive especially with my Daughter but I’ve never been known for being an ideal Dad. I remember the first time I had to bathe her. My Missus came in half way through and caught me swishing her around the bath with a big stick.
“You don’t bathe a baby with a stick” she screamed at me.
“You do when the water is this fucking hot” I argued.
“Argued” isn’t really the correct word though as I learnt a long time ago that arguing with my Missus is futile. Here’s what I have learnt in thirteen years of Marriage.
“Fine” – this is a word my Wife uses to end an argument when she is right and I need to shut up.
“Five minutes” – If she is getting dressed this means one hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if I have been given five more minutes to watch the game before cooking dinner.
“Nothing” – This is the calm before the storm. “Nothing” definitely means something and I need to be on my toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.
“Go ahead” – This is a dare not permission. I try not to accept but when I do the last word I hear before leaving the house is “Fine”.
“Loud sigh” – This is actually a word and is a non verbal statement often misunderstood by me. A “loud sigh” means she thinks I’m an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with me about “nothing”.
“That’s okay” – This is one of the most dangerous statements my Wife will make. “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding on how and when I will pay for my mistake.
“Whatever” – This is Her way of saying “fuck you”.
“Thanks” – My Wife is actually thanking me. I never question her or faint, I just say “you’re welcome”. “Thanks a lot” is totally different. “Thanks a lot” is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking me at all. I never, ever answer “Thanks a lot” with “you’re welcome” as this results in a “Whatever”.
“Don’t worry, I’ll do it” – Another one of the most dangerous statements my Missus can utter. This is used when she has told me to do something several times but is now doing it herself. This usually results in me asking “What’s wrong?”. For my Wife’s response re-read “Nothing”.
Hope this helps someone.

Friday, 1 January 2010

New Years Eve, Wii fit and copious amounts of Port.

Had a total blast on New Years Eve and only now am I beginning to recover.
Went out in the afternoon for a couple with some mates who were grounded in the night and one other who flew to Egypt early this morning. We had a good laugh and I knew at least one of them would be out later in the evening.
Grabbed a Chinese on the way home, she wasn't happy, before watching Doctor Who.
Dave, his Missus and their little boy came over about half seven and we set the Wii fit up. If you haven't got one then I can only recommend you get your arse out to the shops tommorow and buy one. They're fucking awesome.
When you first set it up for someone to play on they have to enter their age and height. It then does a series of tests where you have to balance and keep these lines matched up on the screen. It's basically a coordination test. After this is complete it works out your Wii Fit age.
I'm seven years older than I should be and three stone overweight which is a load of bollocks. My eleven year old was the perfect weight but for some reason was thirty three? My Wife. to her horror and mine, is sixty. Daves Missus who is a fitness instructor and six monthe pregnant was exactly the right weight for her age which mortified her no end. Dave was thirteen years older than he is and obese. It was at this point that I pissed myself.
We then mucked about for a few hours whilst Dave and I downed two bottles of port and a few cans. There's one game on there where you have to run through a series of obstacles, a bit like Sonic or Mario, but you're the one doing all the running. I've been on this constantly and haven't got past six hundred metres yet but when you add up all the attempts I've had I've run about 7k which is 7k more than I would have this Xmas.
My Daughter and Wife have started petitioning for Hula Hoops to become an Olympic sport, they've been doing it so much. Dave's Missus was pretty awesome on most of the games. Dave was fucking shite which amused me no end.
Seriously, if you haven't got a Wii Fit then get one.
About tennish Daves Missus went home with the boy and my Missus who doesn't drink decided she wasn't going to bother coming out. Result.
Dave and I headed to our local for a few more. It was bouncing in there and a couple of the boys had managed to get passes for the evening. We grabbed a table and proceeded to drink Guinness and port chasers for the next few hours. I'm not sure what time I got home but I do remember having to knock my next door neighbours house, they were up, and get one of them to open my front door as I couldn't get the key in the lock. Totally wasted.
Oh well, another one over thank fuck.
winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

Happy New Year folks.