Sunday, 29 November 2009

Lemmy - a hero?

Lemmy from Motorhead once said "I know I'm gonna lose and gamblings for fools". Never a truer word said.
In my late teens a gang of us used to go to concerts at least once a week. Motorhead, AC/DC, Thin Lizzy, Black Sabbath, all the usual heavy metal suspects. I remember reading once that Motorheads back stage rider was 10 bottles of Jack Daniels, assorted sandwiches and a Brunette. Good forward planning I suppose. If there was a quiet night on the groupie front there was always the Brunette to fall back on, literally. Bet she earned her money the hard way.
I saw the Blue Oyster Cult at Sophia Gardens. We'd travelled down on a mini bus and one of the boys had got his hands on some Morrocan Black that was floating around. Ten of us smoked and drank a couple of bottles of Jack and some cans of Red Stripe. I remember sitting at the back of the hall and the opening chords of Don't fear the reaper starting up. I turn to my mate Dave, "Fucking hell, they're opening with this?"
He slowly shakes his head "This is the third encore Rubbish, you've been out for the count since we got here". Good shit that Morrocan.
After a while we started going to see loads of different bands like Sister Sledge and stuff like that. A couple of us even went to see a few Operas. Nothing wierder than watching an Opera jacked up on hard booze and cheap drugs.
One of my favourite bands in the 80's were the Stones when Keef was alive and Mick didn't need a hip replacement after he sang Jumping Jack Flash. Looks like Wild Horses could now be the biggest seller of 2009, sang by that ageing rocker Susan Boyle. How did the World become so fucked up?
Anyway, back to the great man and that immortal line, "I know I'm gonna lose and gamblings for fools".
A couple from Newport in South Wales won £45 million on the Euro Lottery about a month ago. The guy's birthday was a couple of weeks ago and he booked a floor in the St Davids Hotel for family and friends. Who was staying there but Motorhead so he invited Lemmy and the guys to the party because, like me, he was an aging metal head. Not sure if he had to supply a brunette for the boys to agree to turn up but I'd like to think that was one of their stipulations.
I've knocked up a poll alongside this post. I have 400-500 people a week read this crap and about a dozen people who leave comments. If you read this, click a button to let me know what you really think. Cheers.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

So the biggest and most wildy anticipated match up in Poker history as fizzled out in double quick time. After 32 minutes of outlandish bluffing, bad beats and cold decks, Joppa and Would be called it a day with Would be holding a $5 lead. Would be then proceeded to spunk it all off on a cash table therefore handing the win to Joppa. This situation is now escalating into the largest bitch fest since Jordan and Peter Andre split up with both sides claiming the win. I'm siding with Joppa but the jury is still out.
Now, don't think I'm being disparging by calling them both degenerates, that's their discription of themselves. And who isn't a degenerate these days, be it poker, gambling, shoes, chocolate pudding. Every blog I read has degenerate tendancies whether the writer realises them or not. I'm no exception but I'm ten times better than I was.
Five years ago my mate Dave and I are walking to a club when we turn a corner to see five guys kicking the shit out of some poor sap. We look at each other and give a resigned shrug before diving in. Dave takes two of them out and I floor another one. One guy starts unloading punches at me and I'm desperately trying not to get tagged when someone grabs me from behind. I quickly lean forward and then jolt my head backwards catching the guy flush. I quickly turn around to finish him off and stop in my tracks. It's only a uniformed copper doubled up with blood pissing out of his nose. Another copper comes from nowhere and takes me out with Dave protesting our innocence.
We get to the station, Dave and I plus the five pricks, ironically the guy we had jumped in to help had scarpered at the first opportunity. I'm charged with affray, GBH and assaulting a policeman. Dave and I are given a phone and told to make one call. Dave rings a mate of his who's a Barrister. I ring Betfair and have £150 on Arsenal unquoted at 4.8.
As it happens we were only in the cells for an hour. Daves mate turns up and raises hell. A couple of witnesses had also come forward in the meantime, one basically told the Police that we were heroes and should have got a medal. All charges finally got dropped against us but Dave still brings up my choice of call even now. My rationale was I was going to be in clink for a good few hours and the Arsenal game was an early kick off. They won 5-1.
What can I say, my name's Rubbish and I'm a fucking degenerate.

Quick update - the Challenge part two is up and running after Would Be admitted defeat. Interesting pic on his blog, stop by and have a gander.

Monday, 23 November 2009

Not well

My Daughter's had the flu which now means my Wife and I have it.
Played the bloggerment last night but I had such a migraine I ended up bombing out in double quick time so that I could go back to bed.
Went to work today but was back home and in bed by 11.00am.
My birthday tomorrow and I'll be in bed all day again but not in a good way.
Back later in the week when I'm hopefully migraine, chesty cough, runny nose, free.
My Wife and Daughter have come up trumps with series 3 and 4 of the Sopranos. This has only reminded me of a previous post though about that sanctamonious twat Christian O 'Connell and the theme tune World Cup. I was driving into work two weeks ago and he is on about the Final which is between Knight Rider and the Professionals. What a fucking joke.
Where was the Sopranos? "Woke up this morning and got myself a gun". How cool is that for an opening line of a theme tune.
Also, Hawaii five O? I bet you're all humming that one in your head now? And Miami Vice? How are these not in the final?
And of course the best theme song ever. The Bannana splits. How the fuck isn't that the best one ever?
Anyhow, thanks for all the get well soon comments and Mo, your blog's fucked mate, Karma.

Monday, 16 November 2009

Bloggerment - 15th November - the true version of events

This is what happened. Don't believe anything else you might read, those RTR bastards make it all up.
Fifteen of the greatest Poker players and Dd assembled last night for the return of the greatest Poker Tournament outside of the WSOP. If $80 in prize money wasn't enough incentive, the knowledge of winning an event not even Ivey, Hellmuth, Antonius or Yorkie Pud has won in the past was surely motivation enough for the assembled Poker luminaries.
After a tense opening exchange where players jockyed for supremacy, 2008 APAT Champion, Mair
made a massive play, re-raising DoV (donking obliterates variance) pre flop with AcKc. DoV re-raised Mair all in with 6 4 off and hit quad 4's.
Next out was No Cash who jammed with Kings only to lose to DoV who hit runner runner 5's whilst holding 5 2, a fact made more incredible as they were on different tables.
Zagga exited next when DoV flopped a full house on a non paired board.
Unlucky thirteenth was Al Eleven, an American fish who commented in fluent Scottish.
Twelth was Kronsdat who, short stacked, went all in with AA to lose to DoV's 6 3 off when he made a river straight.
The big Boss went next overplaying QQ against DoV's 7 4 off.
The most remarkable performance of the evening went to Mik who finished in tenth, his highest finish since June 2001 when he managed a credible 8/17. Rumours that Mik had eight accounts on the go at that time are as yet unproven.
Weegem bombed in ninth when his flopped quads ran into DoV's fifth straight flush in a row.
Maybe the biggest surprise was Amatay reaching 22.00 without falling asleep. Another rivered straight flush, this time by Joppa, saw the wankmeister scuttle off to his pit early. This was quite a pleasing moment for yours truly who had a little side bet that JR would finish higher than the Watford Wank machine. A nice little $10k for moi although if the fish had won I would have been in to him for a years supply of tissues, a damn sight more than $10k I can tell you.
The Cloud departed next when his top set was no good against DoV's 4 high straight.
1tripz1 (whom I'm sure has a blog but I can't find it) crashed in sixth to a DoV 5 2 special.
Dd bombed next to your favourite blogger, when his AQ suited was no match to my 22 on a AQ2 flop (raise pre next time Dave and I might fold). This landed me another bounty, deep fried of course, from Scotlands finest.
Joppa bubbled in fourth, a remarkable achievement since he was 97 tabling at the time.
I went out in third when my raise on a AcKc x board was called by DoV with 2c3c for a standard 3 high rivered flush.
That left DoV and Kev heads up. The final hand was a corker. Kev, holding AcAd raised all in on a AhAs10h flop not realising he was miles behind. DoV snap called with Qh2d for a Jh turn and Kh river and an elusive Royal Flush, his 47th this week.
Notable absentees were Cogs, the Brighton badger, who has now taken over from Amatay as Britains laziest man and is hibernating until March 2010. Snake and Ant1966 were also missing allthough I'm still convinced they're one in the same (have you ever seen them in the same room)? Mr O , the only pussy whipped scouser, was another who failed to appear. No excuses next week fishies, RTR expects.
If anyone who reads this shite fancies a game, feel free to join us next week. Only thing you need to know is, if DoV raises, fold.

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Another mad week

So much for a recession. Work is so busy it's beyond a fucking joke now. Our order book is full right up to Xmas break and that's with us working between 10 to 20 hours overtime per person every week. Madness.
My Daughters 11th birthday yesterday. Can't believe how quickly the time has passed. My Missus is only 4 foot 10 (same size as Kylie by all accounts)and had quite a difficult pregnancy. Obviously, this meant I had quite a difficult one as well. Anyhow, she was in hospital for four days before my Daughter was born and I was starting to worry. Thankfully my Daughter came into the world on a Tuesday afternoon which meant I could go to Wembley on the Wednesday for Wales V New Zealand on the Saturday. Needless to say Wales lost but not even that could dampen my spirits and I finally came home on the Sunday, pissed as a rat, to a mouthfull of abuse. And that was just my Daughter.
Every Birthday since then has coincided with a Welsh match because of the Autumn Internationals so I've ended up missing loads of her parties because of work. Now that I'm out of that game though we've had a couple of great times the last couple of years and had a brilliant night yesterday. My Missus and I plus a few of my Daughters mates went to a Chinese called Cosmos. I mention this because it was absolutely superb and there is a chain of these places across Britain. If you fancy a great night out with amazing food try it out. I suppose I have to make the most of the next couple of years because it wont be long before she's down the pub dropping a few E's and downing Vodka red bulls.
Tonight is going to be quite a sad night as our neighbours for the last thirteen years are moving tomorrow. When we moved in Sharon and Barry had three kids in their late teens to early twenties who were a great laugh. Since then we've been to three weddings, six Christenings, countless Birthday partys, stag nights and hen do's and sadly one Funeral. Sharons Dad, Pat, had lived with them for years and was a true Gentleman. He had served in the Special forces during the war and had won a VC for his deeds. He died two years ago and since all the kids had married and moved out Sharon has wanted to move. Barry, in my opinion, hasn't, but someone has made them an offer they can't refuse so they're off to the sticks tomorrow. We're going around tonight for a few beers which could turn into a massive session. I'll be sad to see them go.
Wales play Samoa tomorrow night and I've got to take my Daughter to ballet rehearsals so wont get back in time to go to the match. Might give my new neighbour a knock and take him up my local. Just hope he isn't fucking English! Watch this space.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Please God

Let Wales run good one time. Let us crush the mighty All Blacks with a vengance. Let Stephen Jones boot be true and bless Shane Williams with the speed and guile to dance around those Maori twats.

Guide me o thou great Jehova
Pilgrim through this barren land
I am week but thou are mighty
Lead me with thy powerful hand

Bread of heaven
Bread of heaven
Feed me til I want no more
Feed me til I want no more

Normal service returns next week.