Wednesday, 25 November 2009

So the biggest and most wildy anticipated match up in Poker history as fizzled out in double quick time. After 32 minutes of outlandish bluffing, bad beats and cold decks, Joppa and Would be called it a day with Would be holding a $5 lead. Would be then proceeded to spunk it all off on a cash table therefore handing the win to Joppa. This situation is now escalating into the largest bitch fest since Jordan and Peter Andre split up with both sides claiming the win. I'm siding with Joppa but the jury is still out.
Now, don't think I'm being disparging by calling them both degenerates, that's their discription of themselves. And who isn't a degenerate these days, be it poker, gambling, shoes, chocolate pudding. Every blog I read has degenerate tendancies whether the writer realises them or not. I'm no exception but I'm ten times better than I was.
Five years ago my mate Dave and I are walking to a club when we turn a corner to see five guys kicking the shit out of some poor sap. We look at each other and give a resigned shrug before diving in. Dave takes two of them out and I floor another one. One guy starts unloading punches at me and I'm desperately trying not to get tagged when someone grabs me from behind. I quickly lean forward and then jolt my head backwards catching the guy flush. I quickly turn around to finish him off and stop in my tracks. It's only a uniformed copper doubled up with blood pissing out of his nose. Another copper comes from nowhere and takes me out with Dave protesting our innocence.
We get to the station, Dave and I plus the five pricks, ironically the guy we had jumped in to help had scarpered at the first opportunity. I'm charged with affray, GBH and assaulting a policeman. Dave and I are given a phone and told to make one call. Dave rings a mate of his who's a Barrister. I ring Betfair and have £150 on Arsenal unquoted at 4.8.
As it happens we were only in the cells for an hour. Daves mate turns up and raises hell. A couple of witnesses had also come forward in the meantime, one basically told the Police that we were heroes and should have got a medal. All charges finally got dropped against us but Dave still brings up my choice of call even now. My rationale was I was going to be in clink for a good few hours and the Arsenal game was an early kick off. They won 5-1.
What can I say, my name's Rubbish and I'm a fucking degenerate.

Quick update - the Challenge part two is up and running after Would Be admitted defeat. Interesting pic on his blog, stop by and have a gander.


  1. "I ring Betfair and have £150 on Arsenal unquoted at 4.8." so fucking funny!! haha.

  2. I have no degenerate tendancies whatsoever.

  3. "What can I say, my name's Rubbish and I'm a fucking degenerate."

    Of course you are - it's one of your most endearing qualities.

  4. I never get given a phonecall, ffs.

  5. Happy late birthday, Rubbish!

    Using your one phone call for a bet...priceless.

  6. "Dave rings a mate of his who's a Barrister. I ring Betfair and have £150 on Arsenal unquoted at 4.8. "

    I love you.

    Cannot believe you placed a bet on those scum.

  7. now that is fucking degenerate .... not knowing the wifes phone number .... *)

  8. The mentality of a born gambler. If you were in a Roman amphitheatre you'd place bet on which lion would eat you.

  9. that was funny!!!
    N1 Rubbish!!

  10. I keep a mate who's a non blogger updated via email)with the various amusing stories from the blog's that I read, his response time if any is usually about 2-3 days, in this case it was minutes

    Love it.....

  11. Fucking hilarious post!

    In your hour of need, Arsenal will never let you down!

  12. "Dave rings a mate of his who's a Barrister. I ring Betfair and have £150 on Arsenal unquoted at 4.8."

    Absolutely world class

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