Monday, 16 November 2009

Bloggerment - 15th November - the true version of events

This is what happened. Don't believe anything else you might read, those RTR bastards make it all up.
Fifteen of the greatest Poker players and Dd assembled last night for the return of the greatest Poker Tournament outside of the WSOP. If $80 in prize money wasn't enough incentive, the knowledge of winning an event not even Ivey, Hellmuth, Antonius or Yorkie Pud has won in the past was surely motivation enough for the assembled Poker luminaries.
After a tense opening exchange where players jockyed for supremacy, 2008 APAT Champion, Mair
made a massive play, re-raising DoV (donking obliterates variance) pre flop with AcKc. DoV re-raised Mair all in with 6 4 off and hit quad 4's.
Next out was No Cash who jammed with Kings only to lose to DoV who hit runner runner 5's whilst holding 5 2, a fact made more incredible as they were on different tables.
Zagga exited next when DoV flopped a full house on a non paired board.
Unlucky thirteenth was Al Eleven, an American fish who commented in fluent Scottish.
Twelth was Kronsdat who, short stacked, went all in with AA to lose to DoV's 6 3 off when he made a river straight.
The big Boss went next overplaying QQ against DoV's 7 4 off.
The most remarkable performance of the evening went to Mik who finished in tenth, his highest finish since June 2001 when he managed a credible 8/17. Rumours that Mik had eight accounts on the go at that time are as yet unproven.
Weegem bombed in ninth when his flopped quads ran into DoV's fifth straight flush in a row.
Maybe the biggest surprise was Amatay reaching 22.00 without falling asleep. Another rivered straight flush, this time by Joppa, saw the wankmeister scuttle off to his pit early. This was quite a pleasing moment for yours truly who had a little side bet that JR would finish higher than the Watford Wank machine. A nice little $10k for moi although if the fish had won I would have been in to him for a years supply of tissues, a damn sight more than $10k I can tell you.
The Cloud departed next when his top set was no good against DoV's 4 high straight.
1tripz1 (whom I'm sure has a blog but I can't find it) crashed in sixth to a DoV 5 2 special.
Dd bombed next to your favourite blogger, when his AQ suited was no match to my 22 on a AQ2 flop (raise pre next time Dave and I might fold). This landed me another bounty, deep fried of course, from Scotlands finest.
Joppa bubbled in fourth, a remarkable achievement since he was 97 tabling at the time.
I went out in third when my raise on a AcKc x board was called by DoV with 2c3c for a standard 3 high rivered flush.
That left DoV and Kev heads up. The final hand was a corker. Kev, holding AcAd raised all in on a AhAs10h flop not realising he was miles behind. DoV snap called with Qh2d for a Jh turn and Kh river and an elusive Royal Flush, his 47th this week.
Notable absentees were Cogs, the Brighton badger, who has now taken over from Amatay as Britains laziest man and is hibernating until March 2010. Snake and Ant1966 were also missing allthough I'm still convinced they're one in the same (have you ever seen them in the same room)? Mr O , the only pussy whipped scouser, was another who failed to appear. No excuses next week fishies, RTR expects.
If anyone who reads this shite fancies a game, feel free to join us next week. Only thing you need to know is, if DoV raises, fold.


  1. I would never presume to dispute you.

    Unless, of course, I understood what you were saying.

  2. Lol Rubbish,a good write up!!!
    Hopefully i'l be seeing you all at the Bloggerment soon.
    (And i appreciate the comment you left on my blog.....cheers fella & gl.)

  3. and you all thought I was a lucky fucker ... i tell you that man dOv has madSkillz beyond mortal comprehension ....

    then again, maybe he is just one-lucky-fucker

    nhggfu :)

    btw fkn ace write up, i vote you theOfficialBloggermentScribe

  4. You been drinking while munching on paracetamol again? I thought I told you not to do that.


    Brilliant. Seriously. I almost spat my coffee (night shift) all over the works PC!! NH sir.


  6. I think you should invite Ms Otherworldlyone for a game of strip poker.

  7. Sorry guys but have to write at least one post every 6 months about poker. Normal service will resume tonight/tomorrow when I get my retaliation in on that gimp Mo.
    Anyone who understood it, glad you likee.

  8. haha class rubbish..pure class..will have to get some funds onto Stars and play along...actually, will have to get some funds onto poker full stop!!;)

  9. Outstanding review Sir, and thank you for immortalising my run of flopped quads getting river crushed, I was starting to suspect people had stopped believing my bad beat stories.

  10. haha, i think you got it slightly wrong m8. DoV sucked out many more times than you said. fkin fish

  11. Who's this Ant1966 geezer?

  12. Alright then, I answered your question. It got lost in the mix, you big baby.

  13. LOL @ recap of britblog, superb.

    Have linked you up.