Saturday, 29 May 2010

Day three - Sunday - Newastle - Players, pints, boxes and fuck knows what else

Sunday was supposed to be the big drinking day and midday saw us waiting patiently outside the pub for the doors to open. “Us” had shrunk from the Saturday with such lightweights (sic) as Mik and Pud disappearing along with Mair and Stan.
The first pint courtesy of Pud’s £360 chop went down like cold sick but things warmed up when the girls from the previous night turned up. No cash tried his hardest to blend into a potted plant as the girls he had endeared himself to the night before shot furious glances in his general direction. DoV was in full talk mode, questioning them all on their previous nights escapades like a demented Dad. Snake, Dd and Mr O chatted poker whilst I concentrated on not puking.
After a while we headed into the City centre for a few beers. On the way we nearly killed Keyser Soze when this gimp geezer limped directly behind our bus as the driver was reversing. We all screamed to stop and he missed this guy by inches who then broke into a sprint that Usain Bolt would have struggled to match. Weird.
We ended up in a bar called Players which had the cutest bar maids. DoV, Mr O and No Cash, all Liverpool fans so they reckon, then spent the next ninety minutes cheering for Chelsea against their team so that Man Utd wouldn’t win the League. Snake and I blanked the gay boys and talked Rugby. Dd went to the bog for a wank.
After a couple of hours and several Guinness we headed for some food. Opposite was a bookies so we had a couple of bets whilst waiting for a taxi. We were standing outside chatting with five of us looking down the road and No Cash facing us holding court when this girl walked past. Just as she drew level with the five of us who were facing the other way, No Cash looked at her and said “Jeez love, you’ve got the biggest box I’ve ever seen”. We all instantly turned around to see this girl carrying a Tupperware container which must have been 4 foot by 2 foot. Needless to say, in our pissed up state, it was the funniest thing ever. I guess you had to be there to appreciate it.
We headed back to the Casino and entered a £10 plus £10 bounty tournament which was just starting. The plan was to go mental at the start to get a load of chips and then set about trying to win it. No Cash took this to heart and went all in with Q 2 only for DoV to call him with AK. Flop KQ2, Q, X. DoV and No Cash hit the city centre first closely followed by Snake and Mr O. Chris, who had sat in the casino on his own all day, went next before Dd bust leaving me on my tod.
The tournament had been self dealt and unbeknownst to me our dealer had been Stumpy from the NPF. I only found this out as he got up and walked off after being eliminated and I noticed his name on the back of his shirt. For some unknown reason I then ended up dealing. This did have one advantage though, free Guinness. A few hours later I found myself on the final table. There was one man who I had been speaking to most of the weekend, Brian, who was a top guy, sitting next but one to me. Other than that, I knew no one.
I made a few nice plays, folded Jacks face up for some tight guy to flip over Aces. Eventually I ended up 4 of 4 with 3 times the big blinds. I shoved with A 9 to get insta called by JJ. Thank you and goodnight. Got sixty quid for fourth plus a further twenty quid in bounties.
By now it was one in the morning and I couldn’t be arsed to hit town. I spun twenty quid up to hundred on black jack before spotting Mike and Lou Saban. I chatted/bored them for a while and also chatted to the Kracked King guys for ages. About three O’clock DoV and Mr O walked in and things turned stupid for a while. Fuck knows what we were drinking but I can remember one round costing fifty quid.
Finally I dragged my sorry arse off to bed at six in the morning, another eighteen hour session to add to the two other mega ones I’d had this weekend.
The next day/five hours later, was purgatory. Mr O drove me, No Cash and DoV back to Blackpool. I had a quick cuppa with No Cash and Mrs No Cash who is far too good for that lunatic, before heading back to Gods Country. Eight and a half hours after leaving Newcastle I walked through the front door and collapsed into bed.
I honestly cannot wait for the next one!
Thanks to Big Mik for inviting me, hope I haven’t pissed on my chips for next year. A real pleasure to meet Pud, Snake, Mair, Stan and Chris for the first time. Hopefully you won’t run off like pussys next time? Also a pleasure to meet Mike and Lou along with the Kracked King guys and Stumpy and Brian from the NPF. Catch you next year folks. Always a pleasure having a beer with DoV, Mr O and Dd. When we hitting London you Northen Monkeys?
Finally, big heads up to No Cash for looking after me on the Friday night. Hasta la vista baby.


  1. Biggest box. She must have thought it was funny to for No cash not to have ended up stuffed in it.

  2. Felt like a lemon all day in the casino! Oh well, glad I did shit in the tournament!

    Mate, PLEASE drop me an email! Details in my profile.

  3. 'Courtesy of Pud's £360 chop' was me ffs!!
    The next meet up will be even better mate and don't forget the tickets for the International in Cardiff when we spank your sorry sheep shagging arses. Who the fuck is Gavin Henson anyways? Hmmm, now Miss Church is single again I might have to give her a bit of Snake Love :)

  4. “Jeez love, you’ve got the biggest box I’ve ever seen”

    Yeah, that would have been funny at the time. I spend most of my time waiting for a girl to walk past holding a couple of huge jugs...

  5. ha was a classic comment at the time matey!! :))

  6. a pleasure as ever !
    (so glad i hit the sack and not the casino on sunday night (monday morning)) damn i must have been bladdered in the afternoon though, going wanking lmfao !!
    catch you at the next one :)