Monday, 28 December 2009

Hope you all had a great Xmas

So, Christmas has been and gone. Mine passed in a drunken haze but more about that later. Hope Santa brought you all what you were hoping for and you and yours had an excellent time.
I bought my Wife and Daughter a Wi Fit which had a mixed reaction. My Daughter and I can't wait to get on it but my Missus is a bit put out.
"Are you saying I need to get fit?"
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no".
Sometimes you just can't win.
Stupidly, my Wife and I didn't wrap any of my nippers presents and label them from Santa. She is 11 so we didn't actually think she believed in Santa anymore. She did, up until Christmas morning but all the crap we had bought her soon took her mind off that.
I also managed to drop myself in the shit with my out laws. My Wifes nephew is 13 and has started playing Rugby for his School. We went there for Christmas day so I had rung him a week before to see what he wanted. Whilst we were chatting he mentioned he was playing hooker. For those that don't know, hooker is one of the worst positions to play in Rugby. You're totally unprotected in the scrums and the pressure on your neck and shoulders are huge. I bought him a scrum cap and weights to beef him up a bit. His Mum, my Wifes Sister, took one look at the scrum cap and asked what it was. I explained and her face sank. Neither her or her Husband had been to watch him and were both blissfully ignorant to what he was doing. Much tears ensued whilst I drank myself into oblivion.
That wasn't too hard either as Xmas dinner was scheduled for 7 pm. What the fuck is that about? I was starving by the time it was served and made a right pig of myself.
The Christmas parties have been fast and furious and I've been pissed since the 17th, not a record by a long way but pretty good for recent times.
The 17th was a few lads out for a few beers. I hadn't seen a couple of the boys for a while so it was a good laugh. We reminisced about the good old days, as you do, and moaned about the Wife and kids.
Friday night was one of our works do's. It was held in one of the roughest clubs in Cardiff so that if the shop floor boys got a bit out of hand the damage costs would be minimal. As a side note, where I now work is the only place I've had to sign a letter stating that if I get in a fight I would be instantly dismissed for gross misconduct. Yes, there really is that many idiots working in our place.
It went quite well though, no fights, a free bar and plenty of food. About midnight a few of us headed to the City Centre. I called it a night about two and after failing to find a taxi popped into the Casino. I started playing some three card brag/poker game and immediately was dealt a straight flush which paid 35/1. Lovely. It got to about four in the morning so I headed off, grabbed a McDonalds and jumped in a taxi. When I got home and unwrapped it I couldn't believe my eyes. The baps were solid, burger was black and no cheese or relish. Being that pissed, I rang another taxi and went back, slung the burger on the counter and asked the guy "what the fuck is this?" Eventually I got my money back plus another cheese burger with fries. After jumping in another taxi to get home it cost me £21. Fuckers.
I've just realised that if I go into detail about the rest of the bashes I went on this post would be fucking huge so I wont bother. I will tell you about my mate Dave though.
The pair of us went back to where we grew up and were sat in a bar when one of our mates reminded us about one of Daves finest moments. There's a fountain in the middle of the town centre and one night Dave, who had nicked a five litre drum of washing up liquid from work, emptied the lot into it. At nine in the morning the fountain fired up and by about five past the town centre was under five foot of bubbles. The town centre closed down, people thought the end of the World had started, traffic ground to an halt. It took five hours to sort it out.
Hope you all had a great Xmas and here's to a fantastic 2010. All the best folks and thanks for reading.


  1. ROFLMAO @ putting the bubbles in the fountain!! It's

    I'm sorry that your SIL and assorted inlaws were upset about the gift to your nephew - what was up with that?? You'd think they'd be grateful that you are looking out for the kid. I know I would be.

  2. What a fantastic idea! I'm plotting on how I can dump a bucket full of bubbles into the fountain downtown right now!

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  4. Ahahahahahahahaha, the old £21 cheeseburger, been there but mine was a McTucky, quality Mr Rubbish!!

  5. I had a late christmas dinner as well.
    And I also drank myself into oblivion whilst waiting...

    I blame the chef!

  6. Sounds like a mixed bag kind of christmas. I really wanted a wii fit so I'm envious.

  7. I can't believe you went all the way back to McDonalds. When they leave out my straw and I've only driven a quarter mile down the road I don't go back. Even though it does really piss me off.

    The bubbles in the fountain are awesome! That is hilarious.

    Next year give your wife earrings (unless of course she asks for fitness technology). It's way safer.

  8. WP with the burger Sir, there are things in this life worth fighting for, and proper food is near the very top of that list.

  9. And Happy New Year Sir.

  10. "Are you saying I need to get fit?" There is no safe answer for that, not even with a UN Peacekeeping force between you.

    And dinner at 7pm? WTF?

  11. I would have thought Welsh parents would be proud to have a rugby-playing son. Good luck for the New Year. Play for small stakes is my advice.

  12. Oh I wish I could have been there. The Party is one of my favourite movies, and I've always wanted to try something like that.

  13. good for you dropping 21 pounds on a cheeseburger. Makes perfect sense to me and I'm sober.

    Happy New Year to you and your family. Laughed my way through another post. Thank you