Monday, 6 July 2009

My Daughter - the genius in the family

Poker sucks at the moment. Came 12th of twelve in the RTR game after my Jacks ran into Aces. What was galling about the whole thing was Snake came 4th and he didn't even play a hand. My get up and go, got up and went about 7.30 on Saturday morning when it was raining and I couldn't be arsed to play Golf. Just crashed out of a couple of MTT's so have given up for the evening. Know that if I go to bed I'll just lie there for hours, wide awake, thinking of all kinds of shite. Yet, sitting here in the front room, watching all kinds of shite on the TV, I can't think of anything interesting to write about. Well, apart from my Daughter.
I knew she was going to be intelligent because I am. Only joking, I knew she was going to be intelligent after this.
One day in school she had to write a story about childbirth and she asked me, "How was I born?"
"Well Babes..." said I, "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," she said, "Well, how did you and Mammy get born?" she asked.
"The stork brought us too love."
"Well how were Granny and Grandpa born?" She persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" I said, starting to get really fed up with my Missus lack of participation in my humiliation, which she's normally so good at.
Several days later my Daughter handed in her story to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:
"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

My Mum was a Doctor, my Gran a nurse and my Mother in Law was a nurse as well so I've always hoped my ten year old would take up a medical profession when she's older. Seems she has started already.
Even though she hates all boys, good girl, my Wife's mate has a boy in the same class as her and she quite regularly goes round their house for tea. Tonight, Steves Mum brings her home, Quite perplexed to say the least.
"Whassup Andrea" I ask?
"I caught your Daughter and my little Stevie playing Doctors and Nurses just now" she blurts out looking extremely flustered.
"Oh" is about all I can muster, "I'll get Jen to talk to her when she gets home. I didn't think we'd be having the birds and the bees talk with her at ten years old but kids grow up so fast these days don't they Andrea"?
Andrea fixes me a glare and almost spits out, "birds and bees, your Daughters removed Steves appendix".

Anyhow, she brought her school report home today and she came top of her class. She speaks Welsh and English as fluently as a ten year old can and is learning Spanish. She excels at Maths and is on the top table in every other subject. The only negative comment was that "she can't throw a ball"!!!
I can live with that, just.


  1. I hope your daughter does go into the medical profession, because she had me in stitches. When I read the bit about "natural childbirth", I damn near fell out of my chair laughing. I called my husband over to read it, and he just about died laughing, too.

    We love your daughter. LOVE. HER. If you ever want to get rid of her, send her to us. She will fit in so well around her. So well.

  2. Again, she's just brilliant. You've got your hands full, for sure.

    *Reminded me of the Pooh explanation. Loved it!

  3. LMAO that she removed his appendix..she truly is a genius Rubbish.

  4. Three generations brought by the stork? Crumbs, that's unusual.

  5. priceless.

    and about the ball? I'm sure Mo could teach her. He can do ANYTHING.

  6. That was absolutely hilarious!!

  7. She can't throw a ball!?!? I get upset when my 15 month old can't throw overhand. Get on it. Fluent in multiple languages be damned....

  8. You are very lucky man its only due to your daughter. You have a b=very pretty daughter dude.
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