Friday, 3 July 2009

All going wrong

Jeez it's been a shit week.
First off, I'm in the bookies last Friday night and the English U21 score came up. England were 3-0 up and I said to the guy behind the counter £if I was at home now I'd lay them". By the time I got home it was 3-2 and the game ended 3-3. £750,000 traded at 1.01 which means for every £10 you lay you return a £1000. Gutted.
Was also going to back Murray when Nadal was uncertain whether he was going to play. Didn't and Murray is now in the Semi's. Gutted.
Sportinglife run a piece about Martin Kaymer in the French Open (still up on their site), and I chose to ignore it. He shoots 9 under in the 1st round. Gutted.
Decided to play Poker seriously this month. Lost 7 STT's in a row before making a comeback to finish level. Then bombed out of 3 MTT's when KJ on a KJ5 flop ran into pocket 5's. Another one was 77 on an A76 flop where my oppo hit runner runner spades for a flush. Finally, last night, in a super turbo 200 runner shit fest on Laddies, I'm in a decent position and with the blinds going up quickly there's about four all ins every orbit. Front door goes and I fold J10, answer the door, come back to see that I'm all in against AA. Ticked call any instead of fold any. Worst still, I'm chat banned because some useless twat that I let play on my account was roundly abusing everyone on there. Gutted.
Anyhow, Raise the River are running tournaments every Sunday night for the next two months. Overall winner wins a trip to Paris. If you're a member I'm sure I'll see you on the tables. If you're not a member then why the fuck not? Cannot wait to humiliate that Super Fish Amatay.
Happy Fourth of July to all Americans that read this shit.
When my Daughter was five she had this American girl in her class (she's still there). This girl had been born in Hawaii, both her parents moved here to lecture in the University of Wales which just goes to prove how stupid Lecturers really are. She had only been there a term so the teacher decided to have a Fourth of July party for her, Cakes, squash and a DVD. My Daughter asks me the night before why the Fourth of July is so special so I tell her in my own inimitable way.
"Britain had been involved in lengthy wars with the Bastards (France) and Spain for several years. This had financially ruined the British Government so King George III imposed taxes on America to recoup some cash. The Americans weren't impressed and evetually they set up a congress headed by John Hancock and went to war with Britain. On the Fourth of July 1776 a Declaration of Independance was drafted and signed by 9 of the 13 States and was sent to King George III, meaning they formally broke away from British rule. Thus America became the United States of America and a country in their own right".
The next day my Daughters teacher asked if anyone knew why the Fourth of July was so special to Americans. My Daughter stood up and informed her class that "America sent George an e-mail saying they were not friends anymore".
If only life was that simple.


  1. OMG - I understood practically ALL of this post. 9 under par in the first round: golf. Check.

    All of the poker stuff: check. You DID have some rotten luck, didn't you? What site do you play on?

    LMAO at your explanation of the Fourth of July, and your daughter's interpretation. No taxation without representation, Dude - gimme that tea.

  2. hahha! That is a GREAT explanation! Last night at our National Day Event I told the Brits they shouldn't have gotten greedy. Then I told the Sudanese not to push their luck or I'd go dump tea in the Nile.....

    Oh I'd do it!

  3. "if only life was that simple." Amen.

  4. Classic.

    'The Bastards'

    Also classic.

    But where have you been this week punk? After that poem (which I'll probably post this week) you've been on my mind punk...

  5. At least you didn't lay Murray

  6. That's very funny offer " winner wins a trip to Paris." you must go for that & win also.
    poker games

  7. At some point I knew what was being said here. And your daughter's take on our independence is priceless.

    Re: Mo's poem, which I thoroughly enjoyed btw, I felt you should know that even my mother is lurking over here reading you and Mo (clicking from comments on my blog which she thinks are clever). She loves the name Rubbish. So, your fan base has officially expanded beyond hot American mommy bloggers to their mothers as well.

  8. In addition, I don't have funny today, only a recipe, so you'll have to check back. But I almost never have "the blues" because that's no damn fun. You want consistent balls-out laughter? Try Funniest mommy blogger evah.

  9. Damn American posting here. Thanks for the well wishes. And you know what? Kids have it right. Life really IS that simple...we just keep trying to muck it up and give messy answers to problems that are very simple to walk away from. I'm with your daughter on this. Happy July 6th to you. Happy Monday. :)

  10. You're daughter is definitely a little genius. Good luck with that one!

    And I don't know how you think we celebrate the 4th, but it doesn't involve eating squash.

  11. A chip off the old block maybe?