Tuesday, 3 March 2009

How I shut down Cardiff

We were talking in work today about cars and specifically our first cars. Mine was a Datsun 120y. My Mum bought it for my 17th birthday and it was my pride and joy.
I'd had it a few months when a girl got raped in the town I'm from. The only thing she could tell the police was the man was driving a Datsun 120y. Needless to say I had the police up my house and after giving my alibi (in Spain), was obviously eliminated from any enquiries.
Unfortunately, for me, that didn't stop me getting pulled in every time I drove my car anywhere. Due to the seriousness of the crime I didn't mind but it was starting to get to me. I was playing amateur league footie at the time and had taken a few of the boys to some of the matches only to be followed by the cops before getting pulled over and questioned.
A couple of months after the first attack another girl was assaulted so I had the cops back up to my house. I yet again produced an alibi (for anyone reading I was innocent just in case you are wondering) and yet again proceded to get pulled over every time I left the house in my car.
Now what you have to realise was I was very young and very stupid. There's only two main roads into Cardiff one of which is Manor Way. Anyone who has driven to Cardiff via the M4 will probably have used Manor Way to get to the City Centre.
So finally, one Monday morning, I'm driving to work in Cardiff. Manor Way is about 2 miles long and has several sets of traffic lights on it. At the first set of lights I'm at the front and pull away first. There's a small rise a few hundred yards up the road and as I reach the top there's a copper with a speed gun. He was holding it like Dirty Harry and as it was early in the morning and I was getting paranoid about the number of times I had been pulled over I immediately thought "he's going to shoot". I let go of the steering wheel and put my hands over my eyes. As I went past him I could see out of the corner of my eye he was now holding the gun by his side, mouth agape in a stunned "what is this freak doing" wonderment. One second later I hit the central reservation at sixty miles an hour. My car spun around about five times before rolling onto it's roof.
Manor Way and therefore half of Cardiff was shut down for about five hours.
When I was recovering in the hospital I told the Police about the rape and all the times I had been stopped. I then explained about how I thought the copper was going to shoot me. The one copper laughed so much I thought he was going to puke.
My car was a total write off and when I rang my Mum and told her what had happened she said "Don't worry I'll sort you out a new car". She only went and bought me another fucking Datsun 120y. Within 24 hours I had the cops back up my house questioning me about the attacks. It took another 3 months before they caught the twat.
Played poker tonight and won $120. Just thought I would add that seeing as this is supposed to be a poker blog.


  1. Lol fella!!
    My first car (an old 'P' reg capri) got me stopped loads of times by the cops..... but luckily not for being mistaken for a sex case!!

  2. Who needs poker posts with stories like that? Great stuff.My 1st car was a 16 yr old Opel Kadett.I had to drill a hole through the floor to get rid of the puddles before I sold it and used to have to lean out and encourage the windscreenwipers when it rained.Happy days...