Monday 28 September 2009

Never leave home

Without your wallet, watch and wits. Can't remember who told me that but they should have added mobile phone as well.
Sunday before last I'm sitting in my local with a couple of mates watching Man Utd v Man City. It's 3-2 in the dying minutes and I make the brave statement that Man City would equalise. This was met by a few snorts of derision and a "fuck off". So. I reach into my pocket and pull my Mobile out. Except it wasn't my Mobile it was my Wifes.
One of my mates asks what I was going to do with the phone so I explain that I was going to put my money where my mouth was and lay Man Utd. Unfortunately, as this wasn't my phone I couldn't because my Wife isn't a degenerate like me and doesn't have Betfairs number on speed dial. I then went on to explain that Man Utd would probably be trading at 1.1 which meant that I could lay Man Utd for £50 to win £500 if Man City equalised. One minute later they did.
After the laughter subsided one of the boys asked if I would leave the bet as it stood. I then went on to explain that I would now lay the draw for £100 to guarantee a profit. By this time we were in the 94th minute and the odds would easily have been 1.01 which would have got me £400 for the draw and £10000 for Man Utd or Man City.
For those that don't know, Man Utd scored in the 96th minute to win 4-3.
I've been on life tilt ever since.
So, to recap, never leave home without your phone. You can thank me for this piece of advice by sending donations to rubbish@fuckingeverything.com
In other news my Internet has been down for a week after my wife kindly downloaded a virus which has killed everything. I'm off work with the Flu which my Daughter has kindly given me. I've spent the last half hour trying to catch a mouse my cat has kindly brought home.
Will catch up with everyones blog tomorrow, promise.
Later.

11 comments:

  1. Unlucky sir. That's gotta hurt. I was trading that game at the time myself on Betfair, and from memory (I might be wrong..), I think around 94 minutes, the draw was about 1.02/1.03, as the shrewdies on Betfair knew there were still a couple of minutes to play. So, if you had laid it to lose £100, it would probably have netted you £5000/£3300 - still not good news obviously, but better than £10,000! (Hope that makes you feel a little tiny bit better...)

    And I loved the Frank/Dave story. Pure class.

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  2. It is good that your wife and cat are so kind. And the mouse, did that do anything kind? I'm gonna put 50 quid on a spread bet that the little critter kindly craps in every room of your house...

    *fumble*

    Where the bloody hell is my phone?

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  3. Oh, ouch.

    BTW, do you give lessons on how to gamble? I'm calling Mo's bet that the mouse takes a crap in every room and raising him one before it crawls into a wall and dies, thereby reminding you of his sweet, short life every day for two months.

    Hope you're feeling better soon, my friend.

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  5. With all that kindness being thrown your way..I bet you feel like a million bucks! Sorry to hear things are a bit of sorts...

    Searches through wallet..what was the name of that site again?

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  6. Whoa! I am also sympathizing to what you're feeling now...Well that's life!

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  7. Hi Guys and Gals,
    Had the Mouse away quite quickly has the Missus had seen the cat bring it in and managed to lock the doors. Poor little thing was hiding behind the fridge and let me pick it up without trying scurry off. Put it in the park across the road.
    That Man Utd match was gutting. You only get a few games a season that you know exactly what is going to happen and that was one of them.

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  8. well at least you saved some money right?

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  9. Theoretically Jess, yes. Realistically, no.

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  10. God, that hurts. I remember the drawn Grand Final of '77 between Collingwood and North Melbourne. My dad was at the game and someone was taken SP bets on Collingwood winning. My dad said, just out of the blue, 'I'll bet it'll be a draw!' This guy would've taken the bet at 50-1. My dad didn't have any money. Damn!

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  11. I don't have the flu, but I am sick in a house with a bunch of fuckers that don't care. Cats included. I feel your pain, dear.

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