Ten things to do this year

1. Meet her.

2. Cash a five figure sum in Poker or on one of my stupid Saturday punts.

Nearly did this last year but it would have been a total fluke. Was in my local Willie Hills doing an accie whilst standing at the counter talking to the Manageress. She's quite attractive and my mind was obviously wandering and not focusing on the job in hand. About sevenish that evening I'm just about to go out and I have a quick check on Xscores for the results. The first thing I notice as I get the coupon out is £12,600 on the bottom for my potential winnings. I knew I had cocked up because of the amount and on checking realised I had bet against Galatasaray and Olympiacos. A quick scan down the results showed they had both lost to the bottom of the league teams who were something like 12/1 and 16/1. I also had two draws which had come in and after triple checking my ticket realsied I had nine out of ten with the last team being AZ Alkmaar. The game was still going and they were 2-0 up after 70 minutes. I went out and got absolutely blasted. Bought everyone drinks all night and spent around £500. Got up in the morning with the hangover from hell and checked the results one last time. Everyone had come in. No, wait, AZ drew 2-2. Fuck. To make matters worse the goals were in the 91st and 96th minutes and the oppositions goalie scored the equaliser. I spent the next ten minutes throwing up before going back to bed for the day.

3. Go somewhere different for holidays this year.

I've been quite fortunate to have visited quite a few countries. Been to most places in Europe, Done Florida, New York and LA. Seen the Carribean. Quite fancy Cuba or Mexico. Maybe even Mauriitus or the Seychelles. Anyone been? Got any ideas? Would have to be suitable to take a ten year old. Let me know.

4. Weekend blast in Vegas.

Fly in Friday, get totally shit faced, fly home Sunday. If I went for any longer I'd imagine my bank balance would suffer. A week would probably mean too much time on your hands and therefore too much time sitting around the felt. 48 hours would mean a quick ten minutes at a table and the rest of the time on the piss. Obviously, no ten year olds on this trip.

5. Buy a convertible for the Summer.

Would you believe it but my car is back in the fucking garage. I normally put £35 petrol in and this lasts me two weeks. Put £20 in on Monday morning and had to put another tenner in tonight to get home. Years ago I was a F & I Manager in a Ford Dealership. I was lucky enough to be able to take whatever car was on the forecourt home so had a couple of Cosworths and RS 200s. In the Summer I would have a Cabriolet but they were pretty shit. One day the Sales Manager comes in and says "look what I picked up in the auctions last night". He only had a Mercedes 500 SL with the electric roof. I think we priced it up at about £22k or something like that. He had it for three weeks and it was killing me. He would press a button and the boot would open, roof would fold back and that was that. It used to take me about twenty minutes to sort my fucker out. It was mid June and he was off for two weeks somewhere and as I had pestered him non stop he relented and left me the keys. One day after he went this twat walks in the showroom and buys the fucker. It had pissed down as well so I never got the chance to pose. Might see if I can pick up something cheap and cheerful when the tax runs out on my shit heap.

6. Have a nice meal in a Michelin star restaurant.

Somewhere that's the real dogs bollocks but doesn't have them on the menu. Mrs Rubbish and I used to go out quite regularly before my daughter was born but since then we don't really go out as a couple. My Missus will go out with her mates and I stay in, I go out with the boys and she stays in. If we do go out together we normally take my nipper which means pub meals. Not that there's any thing wrong with a nice pub meal. I think the most we spent pre parenthood was £200 on a night out and about £150 of that was on booze. Yet again, if you know of anywhere nice leave a comment.

7. Buy a race horse.

Was thinking along the lines of a syndicate membership but the way my car is going it would probably be cheaper to buy Denman and ride him to work everyday. My Missus isn't a gambler but she did mention a couple of years ago that she would like to go to a race meeting. I did look into a syndicate then and I think it was about £200 for a year which included visits to the stables along with passes to a meeting of your choice. Never got around to sorting it out but I might do this year.

8. Watch a derby match.

No, not Derby County. Milan v Inter, Rangers v Celtic, Real v Atletico. I've been to a few big matches, FA Cup finals, Internationals and the like but I've never been to a full on Derby match. One of my mates went to Boca v River Plate once and said it was incredible. Frightening but incredible. Anyone been to one?

9. Win the Lottery.

Not a big one although that would be nice but a few quid. There's 44 of us in work in a syndicate. We pay £2 a week and last year we got back £28. Not bad, £104 for £28. It would be nice to win maybe ten grand so that we would all get a couple of hundred quid to do something decent with like a day at the races or just a huge piss up somewhere.

10. Do something nice for my Mum.

She's seventy this year so I'd like to do get her something special but I haven't a clue what. Luckily, she's comfortably well off and has everything she needs. I'll rack my brains on that one.

Later.