Sunday, 21 June 2009

Fathers day

Not sure why it's called Fathers day, just any normal day in our household. No breakfast in bed, no nice Sunday dinner (not true, was a nice Sunday dinner but I had to cook it as normal), no nice presents. Well that's another story in itself.
My wife suffers from Arthritis normally when it pleases her. For example, when she found out that Doctor Who was being filmed in the park opposite our house she spent two solid days painting the front of the house, windows included, just in case the camera panned onto it. Of course, this exertion means that she cannot iron a blouse or hoover for the next five years. So every morning I get up, iron a shirt for work and also iron my Daughters school uniform and whatever my Wife leaves out for work. Last year there was much muttering from the two of them because there were a few creases appearing. I get up last Fathers day, make the pair of them breakfast and my little Princess gives me my present. I shake the box and think maybe a dozen Titelist Pro VI golf balls. I open it up and find a new Iron and not the type you play Golf with. To say I was miffed would be an understatement. The reason, they thought the old one might be broken and I needed a new one. Fucking witches.
I wouldn't mind but for Mothers day, birthdays, Christmas etc. the pair of them leave post it notes all round the house with what they want. And being the mug I am I fucking buy it for them. Anyhow, I decided to play them at their own game this year and left notes with what I wanted. The pair of them paid no fucking attention whatsoever. I ended up with Quantum of Solace (already got it), two new shirts (pink) and a pair of trousers (not bad but one size too big).
My Daughter did come to the car boot sale with me today though. I bought a belly putter for four quid and spent another thirty quid on shit for her. Bearing in mind most things only cost a couple of pounds I'm not sure how I managed to spend so much.
Whilst writing this crap I'm watching Grosse point black. Great film which includes Motorheads "Ace of Spades". "You know I'm going to lose and gambling's for fools but that's the way I like it baby, I don't want to live forever". Superb lyrics.
I listen to loads of music and sometimes wonder where people get their lyrics. More to the point, why don't they ask me to write them. Take "Rockstar" by Nickelback. Fantastic song but one line does my head in. "I'm going to trade this life for fortune and fame". Surely "I'm going to sell my soul for fortune and fame" is more rock n roll. Hints of Devil worshiping and all that. Likewise, "too hard to handle" by Otis Redding, I always thought it was "too Hot to handle" because that's what I would have written. Another one that pisses me off is Robbie Williams, Let me entertain you. Cracking song and if I ever had a band, which I never will, then this would be the song I'd open a concert with. But, "He may be good he might be outta sight, but he can't be here so come around tonight". What was Guy Chambers thinking. I would have gone with "God may be good he might be outta sight, but he can't be here so worship me tonight". Much more megalomaniacal and more in suiting with Robbies persona.
I'm sure there's lyrics you'd all change. Leave a comment with which one's you would.
There's two songs that I think are lyrically perfect, You're so vain by Carly Simon and Boys of Summer by Don Henly. Feel free to add yours.


  1. The iron: The rule of thumb for Yank husbands...never give them an appliance for Xmas, birthdays or Mother's Day. I'm thinking that would apply here also. An iron IS an wasn't Mother's Day but...minor point, and it ought to be a rule of thumb for the misses also.

    "Who is crying for you here Dying,
    I am dying fast inside your tears"
    ...Jimmy Hendrix? I think. Been a long time.

  2. You're So Vain is perfect. I heard it this morning on the way to work, actually. Love that song.

  3. Ace of Spades is a great tune, always gets me in the mood for a blast at the tables.

    Oh and LMAO at you getting an iron! Hahahaha! Quality! Sorry :o)

  4. Sounds pretty much like my father's day! Doh!

  5. I'm having a hard time thinking about lyrics when I'm so hung up on you getting an iron. That's practically cruel.

  6. Yeah, ditto to Samsmama. An iron? WTF?