Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Ten things to do this year

1. Meet her.

2. Cash a five figure sum in Poker or on one of my stupid Saturday punts.

Nearly did this last year but it would have been a total fluke. Was in my local Willie Hills doing an accie whilst standing at the counter talking to the Manageress. She's quite attractive and my mind was obviously wandering and not focusing on the job in hand. About sevenish that evening I'm just about to go out and I have a quick check on Xscores for the results. The first thing I notice as I get the coupon out is £12,600 on the bottom for my potential winnings. I knew I had cocked up because of the amount and on checking realised I had bet against Galatasaray and Olympiacos. A quick scan down the results showed they had both lost to the bottom of the league teams who were something like 12/1 and 16/1. I also had two draws which had come in and after triple checking my ticket realsied I had nine out of ten with the last team being AZ Alkmaar. The game was still going and they were 2-0 up after 70 minutes. I went out and got absolutely blasted. Bought everyone drinks all night and spent around £500. Got up in the morning with the hangover from hell and checked the results one last time. Everyone had come in. No, wait, AZ drew 2-2. Fuck. To make matters worse the goals were in the 91st and 96th minutes and the oppositions goalie scored the equaliser. I spent the next ten minutes throwing up before going back to bed for the day.

3. Go somewhere different for holidays this year.

I've been quite fortunate to have visited quite a few countries. Been to most places in Europe, Done Florida, New York and LA. Seen the Carribean. Quite fancy Cuba or Mexico. Maybe even Mauriitus or the Seychelles. Anyone been? Got any ideas? Would have to be suitable to take a ten year old. Let me know.

4. Weekend blast in Vegas.

Fly in Friday, get totally shit faced, fly home Sunday. If I went for any longer I'd imagine my bank balance would suffer. A week would probably mean too much time on your hands and therefore too much time sitting around the felt. 48 hours would mean a quick ten minutes at a table and the rest of the time on the piss. Obviously, no ten year olds on this trip.

5. Buy a convertible for the Summer.

Would you believe it but my car is back in the fucking garage. I normally put £35 petrol in and this lasts me two weeks. Put £20 in on Monday morning and had to put another tenner in tonight to get home. Years ago I was a F & I Manager in a Ford Dealership. I was lucky enough to be able to take whatever car was on the forecourt home so had a couple of Cosworths and RS 200s. In the Summer I would have a Cabriolet but they were pretty shit. One day the Sales Manager comes in and says "look what I picked up in the auctions last night". He only had a Mercedes 500 SL with the electric roof. I think we priced it up at about £22k or something like that. He had it for three weeks and it was killing me. He would press a button and the boot would open, roof would fold back and that was that. It used to take me about twenty minutes to sort my fucker out. It was mid June and he was off for two weeks somewhere and as I had pestered him non stop he relented and left me the keys. One day after he went this twat walks in the showroom and buys the fucker. It had pissed down as well so I never got the chance to pose. Might see if I can pick up something cheap and cheerful when the tax runs out on my shit heap.

6. Have a nice meal in a Michelin star restaurant.

Somewhere that's the real dogs bollocks but doesn't have them on the menu. Mrs Rubbish and I used to go out quite regularly before my daughter was born but since then we don't really go out as a couple. My Missus will go out with her mates and I stay in, I go out with the boys and she stays in. If we do go out together we normally take my nipper which means pub meals. Not that there's any thing wrong with a nice pub meal. I think the most we spent pre parenthood was £200 on a night out and about £150 of that was on booze. Yet again, if you know of anywhere nice leave a comment.

7. Buy a race horse.

Was thinking along the lines of a syndicate membership but the way my car is going it would probably be cheaper to buy Denman and ride him to work everyday. My Missus isn't a gambler but she did mention a couple of years ago that she would like to go to a race meeting. I did look into a syndicate then and I think it was about £200 for a year which included visits to the stables along with passes to a meeting of your choice. Never got around to sorting it out but I might do this year.

8. Watch a derby match.

No, not Derby County. Milan v Inter, Rangers v Celtic, Real v Atletico. I've been to a few big matches, FA Cup finals, Internationals and the like but I've never been to a full on Derby match. One of my mates went to Boca v River Plate once and said it was incredible. Frightening but incredible. Anyone been to one?

9. Win the Lottery.

Not a big one although that would be nice but a few quid. There's 44 of us in work in a syndicate. We pay £2 a week and last year we got back £28. Not bad, £104 for £28. It would be nice to win maybe ten grand so that we would all get a couple of hundred quid to do something decent with like a day at the races or just a huge piss up somewhere.

10. Do something nice for my Mum.

She's seventy this year so I'd like to do get her something special but I haven't a clue what. Luckily, she's comfortably well off and has everything she needs. I'll rack my brains on that one.


Tuesday, 24 February 2009

What's wrong with me?

Car's back on the road so I'm driving yesterday morning and realise I've taken all the CD's out before I took it to the garage. Get home last night and look in the bag I've chucked them in. 127 of the fookers I had strewn about my car. I blame car boot sales which I'm hopelessly addicted to. So bad am I when I go to one I'll do a write up on Sunday to let you know what I've bought.
Having been born in the 60's I grew up listening to Led Zeppelin, Free, Jimi Hendrix et al. Now I'm into The Stone Roses and Oasis et al. There was a fair mixture of those sort of CD's plus a few strange ones. From Abba to AC/DC, Van Morrison to Van Halen. You name it, I had it. I must admit to liking most genres now though I can't stand rap or hip hop. There was also a Take That and a Robbie Williams CD amongst them. I mention that because the Robbie CD was titled "Singing when you're winning" which was a thinly veiled jibe at Gary Barlow. Supposedly, after the Take That split Robbie had made it and the rest of them hadn't. Wonder what Robbie thinks of that now has he sits in the stands of Port Vale, looking to the heavens hoping to spot an UFO whilst Gary Barlow sits at his piano looking at all his multi platinum CD's, 5 Ivor Novello awards and OnePoll.coms greatest British songwriter award. I know the Take That boys regularly read this blog so here's an idea for your next Album title, "He who laughs last". Go on Gary, you know you want to.
Was reading Joppas blog yesterday and spotted a new blog on his favourites. Clicked on it and spent the next three hours reading all these girlie blogs, mostly from American Moms. Suprisingly, to me anyway, I actually quite enjoyed them. What's wrong with me? Mid life crisis? Fuck knows.
I've listed my favourites down the bottom right of this blog if anyone fancies reading some of them. Not that they need any more viewers. Some of them post "Hi" and get about 250 comments, figures even Amatay would be proud of. Think my favourite so far is "my boyfriends a twat". I,ve only gone back a few months and there's been a few laugh out loud posts. If you read this Joppa and find a few hours to kill, give her a twirl.
Right, just watched Inter v Man Utd and now I'm off to read
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Just watched "If Hitler gave me a wax job" on BERNTHIS.COM . Fucking brilliant.

Sunday, 22 February 2009


Finally got my car back after ten days in the garage. Getting to work has been a nightmare. Have had to get up at 4.30 every morning and haven't been getting home until six in the evening. Friday was the worst. Up at 4.30 then home at three for a quick shower before going to work at the Blues v Warriors match. Finish there at 9.30 and nip down my local for a few beers. Leave there at two in the morning and then spend all day Saturday in bed. Haven't done fuck all today either. I think I'm going into some sort of hibernation. Car is going to cost me £475 to boot.
Was reading about this Alfie Patten kid who managed to Father a child before reaching puberty? Seems there's about a dozen other toe rags now claiming to have slept with every parents worst nightmare as well. Alfie hasn't taken this very well and has now joned Fathers for Justice. He doesn't understand the politics but he does have a very catching Batman outfit.
Luckily not all teenagers are knife wielding thugs or degenerate one finger saluting fools. Danny Lee made European Tour history today when he won the Johnny Walker Classic at 18 years and a couple of hundred days old. He not only is the youngest ever tour winner and only the second ever amateur to win a title but he is also the youngest ever winner of the American Amateur title beating the record of one Tiger Woods. Of course, it goes without saying I didn't have a penny on him.
When I was growing up I wanted to be a Rugby player. I would have settled for a career as a Footballer and at a push I wouldn't have minded a few years as a journeyman Golf Pro. Unfortunately things never go the way you want.
When I was sixteen I played Golf off nine, was playing Amateur League footie and School Rugby with one of the stongest teams in Wales. One fateful week saw me have a School boy trial for Welsh Schools Rugby on a Saturday. I then had a trial on the Tuesday for Bristol City the same day Trevor Francis made his debut as the first Million pound player for Notts Forest against them in the Cup. Then on the following Saturday I broke my leg playing Amateur League, which I shouldn't have been playing as I was too young, and spent a year on crutches. Worst still, I never grew an inch after and was too small to play first class Rugby. Some would say I wasn't good enough either which was probably true.
Anyhow, been watching the French Rugby today. Nine players in the Toulouse match are in the French squad to play Wales on Friday night. What an absolutely crazy decision to play them. Even if they got through them match unscathed they've only got five days preparation time. Will be placing a nice little bet on Wales for that match and will also have a few quid on France HT, Wales FT.
Oscars are on tonight and one film I saw last year isn't anywhere to be seen. Not sure if it was only released this year but if you haven't seen it, you should.
Later Gators.

Monday, 16 February 2009

Top weekend

My weekend couldn't have started better. Got up Valentines morning and Mrs Rubbish has only come up trumps.
Normally I get the same old crap for Birthdays, Fathers day etc. but this time I get series 5 and 6 of the Sopranos. Well happy.
I love the Sopranos, probably my favourite show along with 24. For some reason though our cable switched to Virgin a few years ago and Sky 1 disappeared without a trace. No Sopranos, 24, Simpsons, Prison Break and Lost. To be honest, Lost was starting to do my head in but I was gutted when the other shows went. I was planning on having a quiet weekend this week and now I know what I'll be watching.
After a nice little potch about with Mrs Rubbish I headed into Cardiff to watch Wales v England. Few ciders before hand and then into the Millennium Stadium. What an atmosphere!! Playing England is always special for us boyos and when you're overwhelming favourites and playing as well as we are then Saturday was better than most of the England games I've been to. The only match I can remember where the atmosphere prior to kick off was better was this one
I think that video sums up the feeling in the stadium far better than anything you get on TV.
Anyhow, England played really well and worked Wales out. Worsley was outstanding and only the yellow cards kept Wales in front. Goode and Sackey being substituted was a baffling decision and certainly turned the match in Wales' favour. The match wasn't a classic but a win is a win as they say and hopefully Wales will have Shane Williams and Gavin Henson fit in time for France.
Had a fair old drink after the game and suffered yesterday. Being the trooper I am though I headed off down the pub to watch the Ireland match. As I wasn't driving this morning I hit the Guinness big time. Watched the Rugby then Man Utd then the Milan derby. Shows the pulling power of Beckham, he plays and BBC screen the derby live. Bet they wouldn't have if he hadn't been on the pitch.
Get my car back tomorrow thank fuck. Might not have to pay straight up has a mate has been fixing it so Paris may still be on. In a drunken stupour on Saturday a few of us slurred about going to Rome. Not sure how serious everyone was but I'm deefinately considering it. Could even bump into "Would be" and take a few of his Eastern European girlfriends of his hands. If you're not sure what I'm rambling on about then read this
24 has just started and Cardiff are getting a drubbing from Arsenal so time to concentrate on the box.

Friday, 13 February 2009

Valentines Day

Internet Explorer is now working for some strange reason. Having been using Mozilla for the last week and have noticed that my blog doesn't update on Google? Also, can't play Poker or anything on Mozilla which is doing my head in slowly.

My car is going to cost £400 to fix which seems reasonable enough. Was looking to scrap it if it cost £500 plus so looks like I'll be keeping it for the time being.

Where I work we operate a four day shift pattern with only a skeleton staff on a Friday. No one who is working today lives anywhere near me so I've taken a day off. God I'm bored.

Spent the last hour reading everyones blogs and now I'm off into Cardiff to buy my Missus something for Valentines day. Anyone know where you can get a King Cobra in Cardiff?

Every blog seems to mention Paris at the moment. Don't know why because I don't even like the place. When I first started going out with my Wife, Wales were playing France on Valentines day in Paris. There was a crew of us going for a mates stag weekend. My missus asked what I was doing on the Saturday and I innocently said "I'll be in Paris". She took this the wrong way and thought I was taking her there. On the Thursday she rang me and asked when the flight was and I said we're going in the morning. Then she asked me when I was picking her up and the penny dropped. As I was explaining to her that I was going with the boys I could visualise the shock and horror on her face. Fully expected her to dump me when I returned but she went one better and exacted the perfect revenge. She married me and I've been paying for it ever since.

My mate from back home told me the best Valentines day story. He's a good looking bastard and I swear he's had more women than Ron Jeremy. A few years back he was dating this stunning girl called Cheryl. He gets home from work and she's sitting there glaring at him. She nods towards the dining table and says "you've had some post".

On the table were twelve cards, obviously all Valentine day cards and has she had giving him a card before he went to work he knew none were from her. He tried to laugh it off and said he'd open them later but she insisted that he open them now. The first card was the classic "what do you give the man who has everything" but the last two words had been altered in pen to "had everyone". Inside were two words - Cheryl Davies. She failed to see the funny side of it and he was back at his Mothers in time for Tea.

Funniest Valentines Day I had was about four years ago. My missus and I went to this Chinese in Cardiff which is superb. When we got there there it was quite quiet with only about five other couples there. We sat down in a booth and there was another couple across the aisle from us. Our main course had just arrived when this woman walks in with two kids about seven and five, She walks up to this guy and says ""here's your Father with his new slut mistress". My wife and I sat there looking at each other, mouths wide open. This woman then starts berating this guy and slut mistress, who obviously had no idea her date was married with kids, gets up and is physically sick on the floor as she runs to the toilet crying her eyes out. Both kids are now in tears as well and finally the owner walks over and asks the woman to leave. She storms off, kids in tow and slut mistress comes back, mascara everywhere, slaps the guy across the face and leaves. The guy stands up to go and my missus asks him if he's finished with the champagne and if so can we have it. As the guy walks out the whole restaurant bursts out laughing. Fair play to Mrs Rubbish, she does have a sense of humour.

Hope you all have a great Valentines Day, myself, I'm going to watch Wales v England at the Millennium Stadium. Wonder what Mrs Rubbish' sense of humour is going to be like when I tell her.


Wednesday, 11 February 2009


Internet is playing up and doing my head in. Cannot run internet explorer at all for God knows what reason. Can use Mozilla Fireox but cannot play poker as it says internet explorer isn't running? Also cannot play videos because I haven't got flash player yet I cannot download it without turning off Firefox??
Extremely pissed off at the moment. On top of all this crap my car looks pretty shagged and I'll probably have to buy another one.
And Wales have just lost to Poland to top it all off.
Can't even think of anything interesting to say.
If anyone is having the same problems and knows what to do can you leave a comment before I kick shit out of the cats.

Monday, 9 February 2009

Fuck my luck

Bought my Missus a car for Xmas. Not a new one but better than what she had. I used to have a Lexus but I was paying £50 a week petrol and couldn't be asked anymore so bought a newish Rover that was cheap and cheerful. Three weeks ago we sold my Missus other car and with the cash that I've had reimbursed we shoved it all into a high interest jobbie which you cannot take the money out for God knows how long.
Today, my fucking car blew up. The cam belt has gone and it's going to cost an arm and a leg to repair. Worse still I now haven't got enough cash in my account to buy something else. And if that's not bad enough I now can't go to Paris to watch the Rugby if I repair it. And fuck me if where I work isn't so remote there isn't even a bus route that goes within a mile of the place. I swear my luck is poxed.
I was also hoping to be able to deposit some proper cash into a few Poker sites by the end of the month but that's now on the backburner as well.
I guess it's quite ironic how you can have several grand tied up in an account you can't touch and now have to scramble about to get your hands on a few hundred quid. Oh well, never really liked Paris that much anyway.
First time I ever had a gun pulled on me was in gay Paree. We were stood in a bar which was crammed and this guy is trying to sell us drugs. My mate tells him where to go and so he moves on to the next group and then another until he's back to us again. Finally he returns to us and I tell him to fuck off to which he pulls a revolver out. I would have taken a step back but it was so full in this place there was no where to go. Luckily my mate who plays second row blind sided him and knocked him clean out. Another mate bends down and picks the gun up and puts it in his jeans. We then carry on talking as if nothing has happened although everyone else in the bar was starting to give us a wide berth which was cool.
Definately not cool was the Dominican Republic. Went there twenty odd years ago. I think we were on the first chartered flight there from Britain. Place we stayed in was chocker with Prostitutes. Not bad for five scoundrels. After a week though it started to get a bit boring. Finally, my mate and I are in this bar and two girls come over and start chatting away. We immediately ask them if they are on the game. Not many places you can get away with your opening gambit being "are you a pro"? but the Dominican was one of them. Anyhow, they swear they aren't so we have a few drinks and then head off in a taxi to their gaff. My mate and his girl jump out and me and mine get dropped off around the corner at her bedsit. Five minutes later I'm sitting on the bed getting some oral relief when the door opens and my mate walks in. I knew we were in the shit when I spotted the pockets hanging out of his shorts in the universal "no money" language. The girl he's with walks in behind him followed by the biggest, meanest looking guy I've ever seen. He tells us in no uncertain terms that the only way we're fucking his bitches is if we pay for the pleasure. I look down at this girl and ask if she's a pro to which she replies in the affirmative. I look at my mate and tell him I have no money on me. Big mean guy goes beserk screaming in God knows what language. With this another guy walks in and says something to which big mean guy pulls a gun out. The other guy nonchantly pulls an even bigger gun out. The bird my mates with who is wearing a skirt the size of a belt and a vest pulls a gun from fuck knows where and the one I'm with reaches under the bed and pulls another gun. So there's six of us in a room the size of a microwave and four people are waving guns about and screaming at each other, my mate is standing slap bang in the middle of them with a "we're fucked" look on his face and I'm sat on a bed with my shorts around my ankles and my dick the size of an anorexic prawn, thinking "don't let me die like this".
The guy who's not big and mean reaches into his jacket and pulls a badge out and now I'm thinking "don't let me spend the next thirty years in a shithole prison for not paying a pro and being complicit in the murder of a copper".
Finally everyone calms down and the guy with the badge motions to me and my mate to go with him. I pull my shorts up and am out of there quicker than Usain Bolt on speed. We walk around a corner straight into the main street of shanty town central. Just when things couldn't get worse, they did.
I've seen some rough places but this one will live with me forever. I honestly thought I was going to get a bullet in the back of the head and rolled into a ditch to rot for the rest of eternity.
As we're walking up the middle of hell avenue my mate nudges me and nods toward a piece of six by four lying on the roadside. I'm thinking it's a bad idea but better to go down with a fight than roll over and die.
Five yards before we get to this lump of wood a bike pulls up alongside us and this kid asks if we want a ride. Ninety percent of the taxis were bikes when we were there. My mate jumps on and I'm stuck on the back. This kid roars off and I'm sat there with my hands over my ears so that I don't hear the gun being fired. Ten seconds later we're out of the shanty town and can see our hotel about two hundred yards away. We borrow some cash off the receptionist and pay the kid and hit the bar with a vengance. I can honestly say I've never drank so much, so quickly and not felt the slightest bit drunk.
Thinking back to that night, a blown cam belt doesn't sound so bad now.

Sunday, 8 February 2009

Six Nations

Love this time of year. I've played Rugby since I was eleven and worked for the WRU for twelve years. I was particularly looking forward to the England v Italy game as I felt Italy could pull off one of the shocks of the tournament. That was until I saw the team selection.
There are four key positions in Rugby, hooker, scrum half, outside half and full back. A tight head can play loose head. Second rows can swap. A decent back rower can play all three positions. Centers can interchange as can wings. An open side flanker cannot play scrum half.
Nick Mallet coached South Africa to 17 straight wins so it's fair to say he knows what he is doing. But yesterday, playing Mauro Bergamasco at scrum half must rate as the biggest coaching faux pas ever witnessed on a rugby field. What was truly galling is Bergamasco has played 70 times for Italy and even when they were getting stuffed by every team and their dogs, Bergamasco was one of the few Italians who you could count on to put in a great performance. I just hope he isn't remembered for this one game.
Ireland did France in Croke Park. O'Driscoll proving once again why he's one of the greatest centres in World Rugby. Wales beat Scotland today to start defence of their Grand slam. Shane Williams ran another try in and at 11/10 was one of the betting certs of the weekend to score at anytime.
Looking forward to next weekend and Wales v England. Got my ticket and I don't expect anything other than a comprehensive Welsh win.
Been pissed all weekend so haven't played any poker. In actual fact, done nothing much other than sit in a pub drinking Cider.
In my last post I mentioned that this year was the first time I haven't been to an away match. Well lucky old me. Got offered a seat to France at the end of the month. Haven't told Mrs Rubbish yet, may just ring her when I get there.

Thursday, 5 February 2009

In the begining

Was Punterz. The first blog I read. Used to love Punters peasant rants on Betfair but after numerous forum bans someone posted his blog address and I had a gander. On the back of that I read Amatays from start to finish and then Would be and Joppa Roads. Since last December I have read all the blogs listed in my favourites plus a few which were pretty crap. So I then decided to start my own and less than a month in I've won my first (and probably only) award. None other than a UKGatsby blog of the month award. Previous winners include all of the above and some of the blogs to the right.
Big thanks to Uk for giving me the nod.
Snowed again today in Cardiff and my Daughters school shut because of 1cm of the white stuff. Pretty pathetic when you consider what happens in other countries. Take this story I read yesterday about the floods happening in Australia:
"Crocs alert
Local media said huge crocodiles in the centre of some towns around the Gulf of Carpentaria have hampered rescue efforts and large numbers have reportedly been seen swimming towards the 60 km-wide (37-mile) mouth of the flooded Norman River.
Manager of the Albion Hotel in Normanton, Donna Smith, said a four-metre (13ft) crocodile had been seen stalking residents and dogs in the flooded main street.
She also warned the town was expected to run out of beer in two days.
"We can put up with a lot of drama, no fruit and veggies, but nobody wants a pub with no beer," Ms Smith told Brisbane's Courier-Mail newspaper".
Gotta love Aussies haven't you? Crocs roaming the streets but Holy shit, the pubs running out of beer.
Talking of Australia, I seem to have picked up a few readers from there along with one from New Zealand, several fom Germany, Denmark and Sweden, a few from America and one from Cyprus and Israel. If you read this drop us a line and tell us whats happening in your part of the World.
I can tell you what's happening in Wales, Six Nations Rugby. For the first time in eons I'm not going to any of the away games. Not sure how this has happened. I suppose there's still time to pick up a trip to Rome or Paris.
First time I went to Paris I got really pissed on the Friday night. Got back to the Hotel and when I got out of the lift I couldn't find the light switch for the corridor. So it's pitch black and I'm busting for a piss and I can't find my room so I start to have a piss on the carpet whilst walking up the corridor, trying to spread it around and not leave one massive pool. Halfway through and I see some guy at the end of the corridor looking at me so I start to try and explain myself. He doesn't say a word, just staring at me so I continue pissing and start walking towards him. By the time I get to the end of the corridor I realise there's a huge mirror and I've been talking to myself for the last five minutes. Plug was on that trip and when the woman at the airport asked him if he had anything to declare he said "yeah, I've got a huge prick". Probably get pistol whipped if you said that now.

Wednesday, 4 February 2009


Watching Everton V Liverpool on the box has reminded me of a story of a mate of mine who I was away with last weekend. He qualified as a teacher and his first job was with the British Army. He turned up on his first day and was sat in a room with about fifty other teachers. This Sergeant Major type walked in and started calling their names out and off they went to different rooms. Finally, my mate is sat there on his own and this guy sends him off to get his placement. Brunei. So, a couple of days later my mate turns up at the army base in Brunei to teach the servicemens kids. The base commander tells him one of his duties is to arrange the fixtures for the football and rugby teams on the base which my mate is well up for.

Anyhow, his first game in charge for the football team is against the local ice cream factory who were called Aston Vanilla. They turn up at this pitch and there's all these little five foot locals and one huge six foot British centre half. The army won 3-2 with this guy scoring the 2 goals for AV and generally playing a blinder. They are sitting in the bar after and my mate says "I recognise you from somewhere" and this guy says "I used to play a bit of footie my name is Mick Lyons".

Turns out big Mick had taken a job coaching the national team and seen these guys on the side of a road and asked if he could have a game. My mate has stayed in touch with Mick ever since and I've been lucky enough to meet him. Quality guy and a Everton legend.

My same mate came with us on an England V Wales rugby weekend up in Richmond. On the Saturday we're all pissed and my mate pulls this lovely bit of posh totty. She takes him back to her apartment in Chelsea, puts on the full kit and he has a night to remember. Quite a few years later she marries one of the Queens sons much to our enjoyment making Dave a legend in his own right.

My favourite poker playing legend is Punterz on Betfair. Unfortunately, I can't seem to get on his blog to read of his exploits because he's now set it up as invite only. If you read this Punter, let me on.

Pokerwise, lost one buy in last night when my KK on an AAK flop got beat not by one person but two. There had been a big raise to which I called with one other. As soon as I saw the flop I guessed (correctly) that they were both holding Aces so I went all in. They both called and turned over A5 and A4. Turn 7, river 7.


Monday, 2 February 2009

Glasgow: Guinness, Girls and Golf

Had a damn good go at drinking my own body weight in Guinness but came up just short.
Got to Glasgow about five on Friday evening and booked into Hotel Strangeways. Quick change and fifteen of us jumped over the wall and headed to the nearest pub.
Several Guinness later and we ended up in a bar called Madness Check the site out. Cracking laugh with the highlight being naked Elvis who did everything it says on the tin. The ladies were quite welcoming as well although yours truly ended up drunkedly tunneling back into our shithole of an hotel to continue his bird.
Saturday started at ten thirty and the buzz circle was in full flow by eleven. Usual rules apply but there was a twist which entailed repeat offenders having to drink a long pour which means downing a pint with their arm entirely straight. Go on, get a pint of water and try it, you know you want to.
After a few hours of this we headed to What a brilliant place and with two of the sweetest barmaids I've ever seen. We played Pebble Beach which was cool though putting was quite weird. Quick Chinese and then a pub crawl around the Central Station area. Don't really remember much about Saturday night other than I froze my bollocks off and was in danger of pulling a bird Plug would have been proud of before coming to my senses and speed wobbling home. It was so cold in the last bar I was in a penguin walked in. He walked up to the barman and said "has my brother been in"? The barman looked at him and asked "what's he look like"?
Sunday was strange. Sat in a bar about eleven ish having breakfast and the barmaid reckoned we couldn't have a beer until twelve thirty. As we were flying at three we headed to the airport and drank in the departure lounge whilst watching Nadal V Fed. Few more Guinness back in Cardiff and then home to die.
Funniest thing happened early on the Saturday evening. We were in this really rough pub and there were these three guys drinking at the bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points to the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your Mom's the best lay in town!" We were all thinking wow but the guy ignores him and the drunk wanders up to the end of the bar. Ten minutes later the drunk comes back, points to the same guy and says, "I just screwed your mom and it was really sw-e-et!" I'm thinking fucking hell but again the guy refuses to take the bait and the drunk wanders off. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom even let me stick it up her arse. Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, Dad---you're pissed again!"